Life In Technicolor
by myloxylotos
Summary: Will and Emma are happily married with twins, but can they handle the ups and downs of life? Will Emma's OCD be passed down to her children, or will they have their own issues? Is Will able to juggle family life and working on Broadway, or will one suffer? There's only one way to find out…
1. Departures

_There is ancient Chinese myth about the red thread of life. It says the Gods tied a red thread around every one of our ankles and attached it to all of the people whose paths were destined to cross. This thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break. _

_There are 31,530,000 seconds in year. 1,000 milliseconds in a second. A million micro seconds. A billion nanoseconds. And the one constant, connecting nanoseconds to years, is change. _

_The universe, from atom to galaxy, is in a perpetual state of flux. But we humans don't like change. We fight it. It scares us. So we create the illusion of stasis. We want to believe in a world of rest, the world of right now. The great paradox remains the same; the moment we grasp the 'now', that 'now' is gone. _

Most people wore all black to a funeral, but I wore a blue shirt. Nobody looked at me weird which I was actually quite surprised by. Maybe I got slack because it was the funeral of my wife, but that shouldn't matter one bit. At a funeral, you wear black. No if ands or buts about it. I was inflamed by the fact that no one came up to me and asked; _Why aren't you wearing black? _Of course, I'd respond with; _I am. Do you not see? _

The only ones that were excluded from the group of people I despised were my children. They knew the significance of the blue shirt as I told them the story many times when they were small. Only a quarter of the story, of course. I wouldn't tell them that I wore it the first day of our honeymoon and she tore it off my torso, or in a bridal shop that we danced in long before we were 'allowed' to want each other.

What I did tell them was how I wore it the day they were born and my first day on Broadway (though it was a wardrobe prop, it was the same color and style.) They could tell me those stories better than I could at this point.

I sat among the crowd, trying to hide myself. I couldn't. I was Emma's husband, of course I couldn't. Everybody that talked to me asked the same questions. "Are you okay? How are you getting along? You're going to speak, aren't you? Are you nervous?" They always added some form of condolences after they drowned me with questions.

_Yes_, I was getting along fine. _No_, I wasn't lonely or depressed, not enough to hurt myself. I had family; my kids and my parents, cousins and nieces, even my granddaughter. _Yes, _I would speak today, I was only nervous of breaking down. But everyone here today would understand.

Turning around, I found Rachel and Finn standing near Quinn, Puck, Mercedes and Sam. Finn was holding his children's hands, Quinn was holding a blonde toddler in her arms, Sam was talking to Mercedes' stomach.

"Will, I am so sorry to hear about this." Rachel was first to talk. After they were out of high school they occasionally came to Emma and I about life problems, and I asked them to stop calling me 'Mr. Schue'. I wasn't their teacher anymore, I was their friend.

"She started sobbing at the kitchen table when she got the letter." Finn backed up Rachel's story and rubbed her back soothingly. I could tell by the look in her eyes she was close to crying again. Sensing the awkward tension in the air, Puck catapulted himself into my arms, giving me a strong bear hug, just like when I told them, all those years ago, that I wouldn't be going to Broadway, I would be staying with them.

And just like all those years ago, Sam followed, then Finn and Quinn and Rachel joined. Their children placed their tiny hands on my legs, just like my kids would do when they wanted me to pick them up. All I could choke out was a rough form of affection, but one that hinting this action wasn't required.

"We're all really, super sorry, Mr. S-Will." We all laughed, Sam was slow calling me by my first name.

"If I can," Rachel pipped up, "What's the worst part?"

I answered immediately, not missing a beat. "Waking up and not having her next to me."

"How did it happen?" Sam quipped. I could tell all of them were afraid of losing their husband or wife, and they all had curiosities.

"I woke up," Suddenly it was hard to swallow. "in the middle of the night and I didn't feel her breathing normally under my arm. I placed a kiss to her cheek and noticed she wasn't breathing." A few tears slipped from my eyes. "She was limp. The paramedics said she died in her sleep. It was natural, but so soon because of all the chemicals that seeped into her skin and her veins from her OCD habits."

"I'm so sorry, Will." Quinn finally spoke up. She knew about losses. The loss of her popularity, her boyfriend, her baby, her reputation and even herself for months. "I didn't realize that could happen." Quinn and Emma had a relationship I never imagined them having. After our loss, Quinn really helped Emma through each day.

"I know. I know you're all really sorry. I don't wish this on any of you."

"Having family helps, right Uncle Will?" I laughed when I heard Emily's question. She was so sweet and tiny. With hair like Finn and a singing voice like Rachel, she really was a piece of work.

"Yes, having family really does help Emily." I picked her up and made a tiny growling sound before pulling on my hip.

"Are you gonna talk about Auntie today, Unc'?"

"Yes! Thank you for reminding me, Em." Emily blushed, she loved it when I called her the same thing I called Emma. She thought it was the equivalent of telling her she meant as much. "I actually have to go get ready for that." I set Emily down next to her sister and hugged each of my former students before heading to the back of the chapel.

I sat in the rough chair they provided for family and friends, and tried to collect my thoughts. I held my head in my hands and let a few loose tears fall to the floor. It felt weird not having her here to hold my hand and calm my anxiety.

"Dad? They're ready for you." Inhaling a deep breath, I smoothed my pants and wiped my eyes before nodding to my son.

I was as ready as I'd ever be.


	2. Nuptials

I slammed down the box that held our wedding rings against my thigh again. Opening the box and looking at the diamonds for the umpteen time, I sighed and began pacing. Emma was supposed to arrive any minute. I've been here for hours. I wonder if her mom got lost. Emma knows where the church is, she picked it out. She probably has a schedule for this whole day, Emma wouldn't be late to her own wedding.

I winced when the corner of the ring box hit my knee. I knew my thigh was bruised from being hit repeatedly for thirty minutes. Emma would ask, and I would have to tell her the truth. "I missed you." I'm afraid because I have no idea how I will react when I see Emma again after more than twenty four hours with out her.

"Will's car is already here." I heard Emma say outside. Thirty minutes when by, and cars started slowly lining up.

"Will?" I half expected it to be Emma saying my name so softly, but I turned around and saw my mother.

"Mom? Are you supposed to be in here?" I looked around through the crack of the door my mother left open for Emma's mother, or someone to confirm my suspicions.

"Of course, sweetie. How are you feeling?" She took a seat next to me and briefly looked at herself in the mirror before turning her whole attention to me.

"Um, I'm okay I guess. I'm nervous. I've loved Emma for a really long time and now, I'm going to be with her for the rest of my life. Mom, that's a big commitment." I took a long sip of the large coffee I picked up before I arrived at the church.

My mom laughed, remembering her own wedding. "You're ready for this, Will. You have been since you saw her."

Before I knew it, I was standing under a classic wedding arch, bombarded with periwinkle and yellow flowers; our wedding colors. Family and friends were seated and making small talk amongst each other. Family sat in the first few rows, and friends sat behind them. My parents were talking to the glee kids and Emma's family to each other. The pianist started playing the wedding march and everybody stopped talking and turned around to face me. My father gave me a thumbs up and my mother gave me a reassuring smile.

Emma's nieces walked down the aisles and spread roses, giggling and skipping. Shannon and Sue walked down together, since neither of them had dates. They grew surprisingly close in the past few months. Nobody knew how, but they didn't question it. Sue being nice to more than one person was a wonder of the world. Shannon patted my arm while walking to her seat and Sue gave me a smile and a thumbs up. Rachel managed to weasel her way into planning the wedding and Emma insisted she be one of her bridesmaids as a thanks for all her help. She and Finn walked down the aisle after Shannon and Sue, Rachel waved at everybody as if she was walking down the red carpet, Finn blushed and tried to hide his face. Quinn and Puck, who was surprisingly supportive of my relationship with Emma were the last to walk down the aisle. When Puck got to the end he introduced my soon to be wife by crouching and extending his arms in her direction. Don't vomit. Don't say something stupid. Don't faint.

Emma stilled by the wall for a few seconds before stepping out to let every one see her. My mother once told me this was one of the scariest moments in a woman's life, but it didn't stop Emma except for her blush at the gasps, ohs and ahs when everyone saw her dress. My throat clenched.

With her hands clasped in front of her, Emma walked forward, letting her train come into focus. Her father was by her side, leading her the whole way down. Her hair regained the flip it had when I first met her, and the rest was tied in a side pony tail. Her dress (that her and her mother wouldn't let me see) was breathtaking to say the absolute least. It was strapless and had a bow above her left breast. So very 'Emma'. It hugged and accent her stomach in a way I have done so many times and fluffed up around her legs just enough.

I cleared my throat.

She reached me and her father gave a kiss to her cheek before handing her over to me officially. He shot me a stern look, I gave a nod in understanding. Emma looked up at me, nervous and innocent, things she was not at all, and gave me a small smile. Tears comfortably rested in the bottom lid of my eyes, never planning on falling out just kind of...there. I stood across from Emma on the side of the lake she always loved to visit. Looking in her eyes, with their own unshed tears, surrounded by friends and family, I wondered if this day could get any better.

"Friends and family alike," The pastor broke Emma and I out from our revives with his strong voice. "We are gathered here today to witness the wonderful marriage of two people so in love. I understand you two have prepared your own vows?" Emma and I nodded. It was something we talked about for a long time. We decided that personalizing our vows would be more meaningful. We both had a special hiding place for them, knowing that each of us would try to read the others.

Emma and I looked at each other, and I began, forgetting about the paper in my pocket. "Emma, when I first saw you I felt my chest tighten and the breath leave my lungs. Like when I saw you walking down the isle just now." It was just Emma and I now. Nobody else mattered, nor existed in my head. "That adorable flip in your hair," I reached up and twirled her hair around my fingers. "and your large 'Babmi' eyes drew me to you and I'm so happy they did. I aspired to feel your lips against mine, the warmth of your hand intertwined with mine and the wait was so worth it. Emma, if you'll let me, I will gladly hold you through sickness and health, fights and the best of times. I will make you feel like the most loved person in the world, because you will be. I promise to always protect you from anything that may harm you, if you'll do me the simple honor of promising to spend the rest of your life with me."

Emma looked on the verge of tears, but her voice was strong and calm. "William, I fell in love with you at first glance. I never believed in love at first sight until that first look at you. I know it was a rocky road to this point, but I was told all my life that nothing good came easily. And Will, you're so good to me. You do make me feel like the most loved person in the world, and I can only hope I will spend the rest of my life doing the same. I want to feed you soup when you're sick, and stroke your hair when you're upset. I want to laugh with you and cry with you, because nothing is as serious or scary when you're by my side. Which is why I'm standing here today, getting married to my one and only love."

Somebody told me years later that the crowd was in shock of the free vows and the love in them, but I was too focused on my beautiful fiancee to care about anything else but the minister saying "William James Schuester, do you take Emma Marie Pillsbury to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness-"

"Yes."

The minister was thrown off, but continued. "Emma Marie Pillsbu-"

"Yes." The minister laughed and didn't try to finish. "Congratulations, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride!"

I wrapped my arm around Emma's waist and pulled her to me. "Congratulations, Mrs. Schuester." I whispered before my lips crashed against my wife's and let the clapping of the crowd surround us.

xxx

My lips when on Emma's neck as we tried to seclude ourselves from the rest of the reception and that plan had worked out well in the last 20 minutes. Our attendees got plates of food and music played softly in the background. Emma's nephews pushed a large cart that donned a four tier cake to our table.

"Time to cut the cake!" Travis boisterously said, calling everyone's attention to us.

"Yeah," His twin brother agreed. "and not the cheese!" The boys snickered as Emma turned toward me and rolled her eyes even more so when I smirked at her.

They started to pull us to our feet, most eager to eat cake. "Okay guys we got it, we got it." I grinned at Emma and held her hand as we walked over to the cake. Emma picked up the knife, I put my hand over hers and we did the first act as husband and wife. We put the piece on a plate and moved out of the way to let my father give everyone a slice. Emma deviously smirked at me when I was taking a bite and tilted the plate up, smearing cake all over my face. I let the plate drop and my mouth fell open as Emma stepped backwards, chuckling.

I was so glad we changed out of tux and dress. A big chunk slid down my face and into my fist before I slammed it into her side. "Come here." I beckoned for her to come close but she stayed grounded where she was so I walked toward her.

"Don't be afraid," I took hold of her back and pulled her flush against me as a big glob of icing fell between us. "I won't harm you." Emma's eyes lit up with a mixture of love and fear for what I would do to her in public. "I love you." It was a soft whisper of something we told each other every morning and every night but whether whispered in the new silence of our bedroom or a yell bouncing off the walls of McKinley High, it meant the same thing.


	3. Festivities

"Will? Are you asleep?"

"You know I wouldn't go to sleep without honeymoon sex."

Thirty minutes after I said that, I was really about to fall asleep. Emma lined up ten movies that had absolutely no point, but I held her through all of them. Now it was two in the morning and my eyelids were heavy with sleep. My whole body seemed asleep until I felt Emma straddle my hips and I jolted up. "You know, we almost never make love in this position and I _love_ this position. I get to have all the control of you I want." I growled and began to move to lay her under me. "No, no. You said I could do what ever I want. This is what I want."

"I thought movies was what you wanted."

"Just to sedate you for a little bit." Before I could groan her name she pressed her lips to mine, wet and hard.

"You want it rough, hun?" She moaned into the kiss. "You want me to be possessive, don't you?" She moaned again. I grabbed her hips and forcefully pushed her back so I was above her. "You want me to fuck you."

"Yes. I want you to fuck me." Her words were the only confirmation I needed before I dived down to her chest, teasing her nipples to the point of hardening. "Then this needs to go." I found a small hole on the stomach of her shirt and pulled it bigger until she could wiggle out. Sometime during my slumber she removed her bra. Surprised I didn't feel she was naked under her shirt when my mouth attacked her nipples and at the sight of her bare chest, a growl escaped from someplace deep in my chest.

"I should start calling you an animal, Will." I barely heard anything she said, the only sound from her lips my mind would process were her moans and gasps, her groans and whimpers of my name. I drew complicated patterns on her stomach while my mouth worked on her chest before she roughly pulled my curls up to her face. "I love you. So much." She said before begging me to kiss her. Her hips hastily thrusted to meet mine. She wanted more friction.

Her hands worked their way up to my shoulders and removed my shirt quickly before coming back to my lips. Faster than I could process, she pushed me on the bed and moved to straddle my hips. As soon as we made contact, she began grinding on me, desperate for release.

"Let me help you."

"I can do it myself."

"Emma." I forcefully grabbed her hips again, making her open her previously closed eyes and look at me. "If you need something I want you to tell me."

"I want you to let me do this myself."

"No. I promised you that I would never leave you alone. I meant it." Her hips were still gyrating, hoping for sometime of friction. I lowered her hips to mine but kept them still. "Let me help you." With every words I moved my hips in a circle, but kept hers still. I loved teasing Emma.

"Okay Will! Help me. Help me please!"

"Take off my pants. I want you to see how hard you make me." Glad to touch me Emma reached down and took off my pants as I did the same to her, leaving us standing on our knees. I felt relieved but not completely. My boxers were still suffocating, more so when Emma touched me through the cotton. I knew begging wouldn't do anything but increase her movements on my extremely hard erection, so I cupped her through her panties. She gasped, as satisfying sound to my ears. She teased me more, I increased my ministrations as well.

She was soaking.

"Tell me I make you wet. Tell me you're tight for me."

She screamed my name, something I wanted to record and hide it in a safe place so I could hear it anytime I wanted. I kissed her hard and sloppy, keeping my hand on her and increasing the friction between her most sensitive spot and my hand. She grinded into my hand. "I've never been harder in my life than when you touch me, Emma."

My confession was all she needed to speak the words I wanted to hear since I first saw her. "You make me so fucking wet, Will. Please put yourself in me. I'm so tight for you." Not wanting to explode before I was even inside of her I literally ripped off our remaining clothes and slammed Emma into the headboard at the same time roughly pushing myself into her.

She giggled. "I'm glad you didn't promise not to hurt me." Mumbled apologies were whispered in her neck and I moved in and out hastily.

"I can't hold on much longer." Emma agreed and thrust again. "Tell me you're mine. Tell me you'll always be mine."

"I'm yours Will! I'll always belong to you! Will!" Her screams reverberated off the walls of our huge suite and pushed us both over the edge.

Breathing heavily and gently rubbing Emma's back I said "That's going to hurt in the morning." She laughed that laugh that made me want to grind into her more. The one where she places her hand on my arm and looks down, blushing.

"You're so beautiful, Will."

"Look who's talking." I lowered us to lay on the bed and pulled her as close to me as possible. She whimpered. "I still want you inside me, Will."

With a grin from ear to ear on my face, I pushed in extremely slowly and still basking from post-orgasm Emma and I moaned long, drawn out.

"I love you my wife."

"I love you my husband."


	4. Continuation

A giggle. "You talk in your sleep. You're so cute." Somebody was laying on me. Tracing my jaw. Kissing my face. My my wife is laying on me, giggling and kissing my face.

"Good morning."

"Nah ah. No talking. You still have to make love to me."

"Your wish is my command." I placed my hands on her shoulders, ready to make her whimper for me.

"Mmh. My turn." Emma began kissing my face, sliding her hands down my naked body. "I was _so_upset when you didn't let me be in charge last night."

She was faking, playing a role. "So this morning, I went down to the lobby and bought these." She reached over to the nightstand and grabbed a pair of handcuffs with fabric to make the confinement less painful. "Mmh," Emma purred directly into my ear when she felt me get harder under her. "Good morning Will." She pinned my hands above my head and slipped the handcuffs around my wrists. I moved up to kiss Emma, but she backed away quickly.

"I only have two rules. No talking," Emma lowered herself so we were chest to chest. We were still naked from last night, and I could feel her nipples just under mine "and no touching." She knew touch was my strongest sense. I assumed this was fun for her.

I tried to re-adjust myself, maybe pull my handcuffed arms around her waist, but she grabbed my hips and held them down before I could finish my mission. I groaned. She ground into my stomach. "I know baby, I'm so hot you can't take it." I already felt her wetness building, a sign she was so turned on by me, and this situation. I thrust up again. Emma grabbed my wrists and pushed, sliding up so she was nose to nose with me.

"Will." A stern warning. So hot. "Don't make me turn this into something you wouldn't like at all." She accented her last two words by sliding her hands down my arms and squeezing my biceps.

"Mmh, and what would that be?" I touched my nose to hers as best I could, but since I couldn't hold her to me, I barely touched her cheek. She ground on me again and whispered gently but so seductively in my ear. "You don't want to know." Gently she rolled herself off me and laid on her side tracing her finger up and down my body.

"Emma," I groaned and began to roll over but stopped, afraid I would crush her with the handcuffs still around my wrists. "What are you doing?"

"Aw, you're cute when you whine. There's this special on cleaning products that I really want to watch, do you mind?" She shot me the cutest innocent smile that I almost said 'no'.

"You still have to make love to me. I'm still in these handcuffs."

"I'm sure you'll be fine baby. Now, where is the remote?" Emma crawled on the bed looking for it, with her bare butt exposed to me.

I whined again, "Ems" dragging out the 's'. I began to beg, but I knew that meant it would be even longer until this sexual torture would end. Emma moved to our still packed suitcases and began rummaging through hers. "What are you doing?"

A few moments later, she turned around with a bottle in her hand and climbed over me, straddling my thighs. Emma pushed me down by my shoulders and dripped the oil around the contours of my abs. "Just relax, Will." Emma whispered in the shell of my ear. I wondered if she knew how far past relaxed I was.

Her hands felt amazing on me as they squeezed and moved about my stomach. Emma gave me massages before, a few times after a bad day at work, but it never felt _this_good. Was it because we're naked? Because I'm in handcuffs? Something about this massage made it more sensual than the others. I was almost completely relaxed when Emma placed a kiss on my hip bone. My erection resurfaced and instead of being afraid or shocked, Emma took me in her hands. I breathed out deeply, half hoping she would do what I was thinking of, and half hoping she didn't.

At first it wasn't so bad. Logic and basic counting skills told me that Emma and I have been here for an hour or so before her fingers traced my erection. It got worse when Emma kissed my tip, and even worse when her mouth surrounded me completely. I wished to grab her hair and encourage her more than anything in that moment but the only thing I could do was scream and moan and hope she took it as a good sign.

Emma teased me until I thought I couldn't hold on any more, which was correct, and I came fully into her mouth though successfully not thrusting into her, gripping the sheets or her hair, just the headboard as best as I could. When she moved up my body again, she had the biggest grin on her face. I wondered if it was from giving me pleasure or something else she had planned.

Emma licked around my lips, and I could barely taste myself on her. I've never tasted myself on someone. It was so erotic. Finally Emma kissed my lips, my tongue persuading her to open them. I felt all the blood in my body rush to my middle when she swirled her tongue around my mouth.

"Do you taste yourself, Will?" I moaned a loud 'yes' and suddenly Emma gripped me again and pushed me into her, making me scream and break away from her mouth.

"Please release these handcuffs, Emma. Please." As swiftly as she joined us, she parted us as well. I whined, and she pushed us together again. Gaining access of my wrists, she moved us gently together, up and down, fast and slow, a maddening pace that had Emma and I screaming the other's name in just a few minutes.

Finally, Emma released me from the handcuffs and my hands shot to her back and pulled her as close to me as possible. I groaned, "Emma, please, don't do that again."

"You didn't like it?" She pulled away, horrified but I pulled her closer to me.

"No, honey, it was great. I just never realized how much I like to touch you. I love touching you, Emma." I started to draw circles on her stomach, but she broke away.

"It's a beautiful day outside, Will. Let's enjoy it."

"Emma isn't this dangerous?"

"It's one hundred percent safe, sir. We wouldn't allow it if it wasn't safe." The woman behind the counter flashed me and smile and I gave her a fake one in return.

"See Will? Come on, take a risk." Emma looked toward the woman behind the counter, 'Lisa' her name tag said. "Lisa, sweetheart, give us a minute?" Lisa nodded her head and Emma pulled me by my sleeve.

"Will, in a little bit we'll have a kid or two," My stomach flipped at the thought of Emma's stomach expanding with our baby inside. "and we'll have to take care of them and then when we have time to ourselves we'll be too old to enjoy this. Please Will. They'll let you bring your camera in." She pulled me further away and whispered in my ear. "Let's do this and you can take pictures of other things later." Putting emphasis on the word 'other' Emma traced her finger around my ear and had me almost running to the counter.

"And you're sure they won't hurt us?"

"Will, the sweet man went over this three times with you already. You're probably making _them_angry by now."

"Here, they like to eat these, so hang them in front of their faces." The man running this part of Stingray City gave Emma a small bucket of fish. "It's best if you bend down to their level so they can see."

"Okay." Emma bent down and placed the fish on the ground, keeping her fingers around the tail. I began snapping pictures, I couldn't see them yet but I knew she looked great in them. The stingray came near the fish and Emma screeched, another picture, but didn't let go of the fish until the stingray bit and began to swim away. Emma and I laughed, and I went over to place a kiss on her temple while she picked out another fish.

When the bucket was half empty, Emma and I switched places. I walked up to the stingrays and dangled the fish way over their heads before lowering it to their height and rubbing their skin. All I heard was the snap of the camera, wondering if this was what stardom must feel like. At one point when Emma was still snapping pictures I went over and kissed her full on the lips, holding her face in my hands. She giggled and slapped me with a fish. "Will, there are people around."

"I don't care. I love you, and this is our honeymoon." I turned around to the crowd of people that gathered around the stingrays. "I love this woman!" I screamed into the crowd and pulled Emma closer to my side. "We got married a few days ago and I love her more than anything in the world, and I don't care who knows!" Surprisingly I received a huge amount of applause and "yeah!" "you go buddy!" and "get it"s from the crowd as I kissed Emma's head.

"I think it's time to get out of here, Will." Emma said into my chest and grabbed my hand. "Let's get some dinner."

xxx

"I think you're drunk." I giggled into Emma's mouth before my bare back hit the cool surface of our hotel room door. Or maybe this wasn't our door. My eyes where glassy from drinking and everything was a blur. I giggled again, "Is this our hotel room?"

"I don't know."

Somehow, by some force from above, we found the room we were actually given and stumbled inside. Pushing me against the door as soon as it shut, Emma pinned my hands above my head and began to grind into my hips. "No," I growled into her mouth and bit her lip less than gently. She released my hands out of shock and I picked her up, carrying her to the bed and placing her down in the middle. She looked so tiny on the _huge_ bed. Her hair framed her face wildly and she bit her lip in anticipation of my next move.

I fumbled finding the zip of Emma's dress but with her help I slipped the stunning red number off her body. She was prepared for this. Almost transparent lingerie covered the wonderful space between her thighs. Finally peeling my eyes away I noticed Emma's breasts were held by a skimpy lace bra that shoved her breasts in my face. Realizing I was gawking, I reached for the button of my pants but was met with the fabric of my boxers. Looking down, I saw my pants pooled at my ankles.

I stared at Emma, surely looking like a glassy eyed five year old. "I knew you were going to gawk." Emma said giggled and pulled me closer. "I figured I would give you something else to gawk about." Laughing still, Emma pulled me flush against her and dipped her head to my chest.

Emma placed a kiss to the skin covering my erratically beating heart. Brushing my abs and grabbing my waist, she pulled me close. Pulling her face to face with me, I whispered, "Love." Moving my hands up Emma's arms to cup her face I kissed her hard. Tilting my head, I opened my mouth and let Emma's tongue slid in.

"I love you." Emma whispered as she ran her hands along my arms. "I love you. I love you." I silenced her litanies of love with another kiss, tracing my hand across the curve of her body to rest at her hips. Her hands copied my actions and removed themselves from my shoulders, and pulled my boxers down my legs. Kicking them off, I slid Emma's panties down her legs as well and began to assault her chest with long, sloppy kisses. A wet kiss just under her bra had her fingernails shooting up to my shoulders to bury themselves in my skin. She whimpered for me to take the last remaining piece of clothing off, but I loved the sounds of her frustration too much to give in just yet.

The moment I ran my fingers up the inside of her thigh, that was the smartest decision I would ever make. "Will! Please. Will, I need you." Moving my lips up and around the curve of her bra, I reached her shoulder and slowly moved the strap down with my nose. Emma whimpered and gripped my shoulders again. Paying the same attention to the other side of her body, I finally rid her of the last item of clothing.

"I love you." I mumbled as I drunkenly kissed her again, harder and needier than before. Emma giggled, or many the angels sung, and haphazardly reached for my waist in the dark of our suite."What's funny?"

"I just," Emma cupped my face and I leant into the loving gesture. "I love you so much." Leaning in, I captured Emma's lips in a wet kiss and slowly eased in her sweet sanctuary. Emma screamed out, probably the alcohol's doing. "Emma" I mumbled into her chest, licking a trail between her breast to her stomach. "I can't wait until this expands – when you're pregnant." Interrupting my previous slow movements for a fast deep thrust, Emma cried out again.

"I-I can't wait e-either Will!" Emma gripped my curls and panted, "Please move faster, Will." Her nails being forcefully pressed into the skin of my shoulders confirmed nothing more than the obvious. She was frustrated. Tense. She enjoyed making love though, we just needed to get back in that rhythm. Recently we had been overshadowed by the newlywed need to have each other anytime, anywhere, how ever we wanted it. How ever would give us release.

"Relax sweetheart." I placed light kisses over Emma's face, still moving slowly. I found myself near her ear as I finally felt her begin to move. "There you go." Holding onto her hips, I helped Emma find the pace and forced her to keep it. A strong litany of "I love you" fell from my lips as I felt the fire in my stomach grow bigger, but kept my calm and slow pace.

"Fuck, Will. I love you. I love you so much." Looking up into my eyes with her own glassy ones she kissed me deeply. "Touch me, please." I slid my hands from her waist to her hips, teasing her. "William! Please!" Calling me by my full name was most definitely my un-doing. Happily, I finally filled her request, and touched her, lovingly. Not rough and fast but slow. It was like our first time.

I collapsed against her when we both came minutes later. Breathing heavily I whispered one more reminder of my love in her ear. "I love you more than the stars and the sun. More than the planets and space. I'll do anything you ask, you're so irresistible. I love calling you sweetheart and baby. But my favorite is 'mine'."


	5. Deception

I anxiously held Emma's hand and looked around at my glee club. Their faces were covered in sweat but full of adrenaline and nervousness. Today, people from the top performing arts colleges in the nation were here, looking for fresh talent. After the new scene stealers in Broadway came from my glee club, the administrators didn't want to miss an opportunity for new stars. In the email they sent me they made it clear they were just coming for Marley, the "new" Rachel Berry. She was exactly like Rachel. Besides the blonde hair, I'd swear Rachel found out how to clone.

"Excuse me, are you the club director?" A sharp New York accent came out the side of the back curtain and walked towards me. She eyed Emma and our conjoined hands, thinking in her mind if she could steal me from Emma.

"Um, yeah." Turning around, I tightened my tie and buttoned my jacket. Sticking my hand out, I introduced myself. "Will Schuester."

"Cyndi Lauper. Can I talk to you in private?" I cocked my eyebrow and turned towards Emma. "It'll only be a minute sweetheart."

"How did you like Marley?" I asked as we sat down across from each other at my desk.

"Oh, um yeah she was great. What I was really blown away with though, was the choreography. You came up with that, didn't you?" Smiling widely, I confirmed her suspicions. "Did you ever want to be on Broadway, Mr. Schuester?"

"Call me Will, please. Yes, I did. How did you-?"

"Your old glee kids told me. I work with them in New York. I have a friend who's starting a theater down in Texas, and he's looking for a lead and to be frank I think you would be perfect." Cyndi took a moment to gauge my reaction and continued. "It's not a musical but it has passion."

Caught off guard, my first impulse was to hug her, but my second impulse was to make sure I wasn't being punk'd by one of the jocks.

"Really?" I tired to seem nonchalant. "That's great, but I can't leave Ohio without a promise of a job. And my wife, she needs a job too."

"What does your wife do?" She seemed thrown off that I was a married man. For the first time in my life I told a stranger I was married and I was happy to admit it.

"She works here, as a guidance counselor." She smiled politely and took a moment to write something down in her notepad. "We'll work something out."

xxx

I looked for her among the crowded sea of celebrations in the auditorium. Her bright red hair wasn't as vibrant under dark lights with buzzed and sweaty teenagers moving around. I wrapped my arms around her waist when I finally found her, and whispered in her ear.

"Ready to go?"

Emma turned around, relived to see my face. "Yes. My OCD senses are tingling." Emma and I shared a laugh, somehow I managed to get her obsessed with Marvel comics recently. I grabbed her hand and we headed for the door. I kissed her forehead, leaving the chaos behind.

xxx

I've learned in my short time being married to Emma that the most peaceful nights become the most exciting. Emma's head rested on my thigh and I stroked her hair and glued my eyes to _Rizzoli and Isles _playing on the tv. "I bet he did it." Emma mumbled into my leg.

"You aren't even watching, Em."

"But I can hear." I chuckled, and we returned to our normal silence. I thought Emma was drifting to sleep but I heard her sweet voice pipe up. "I want to try."

"Try what baby?"

"You basically just said it, Will." Shocked, I couldn't force words out of my mouth, just nodded like an idiot.

"I want to make a baby with you." My hands stopped moving up and down her side, and I decided not to question her. Emma grabbed the bottom of my t-shirt, brushing over my growing erection, and pulled it over my head. She stripped of her clothes and placed herself over me.

"Do you know how much I love you?" Emma whispered as she began grinding into me.

"Enough to take my pants off?" She shook her head and chuckled. "Not yet baby." Emma kissed the underline of my jaw and nipped at it gently. She knew she was driving me crazy.

"Please?" I whined, and gripped her wrists.

"All in good time sweetheart. Relax." Her hands wriggled out of my hold and explored my torso. "Feel me, Will. Touch how badly I want this." Gently, I rolled her nipple in between my fingers, grinning when she groaned lowly.

"That's not where I was thinking of Will." She gripped the elastic of my pajama pants.

"I know."

Emma was obviously not going to release me of my cotton confines any time soon. It wouldn't hurt to tease her like she was me. I jutted a finger in her exposed slick warmth.

She groaned out loudly and I couldn't help but roll a second finger into her and massage her burning need. "Will, please," Emma mewed, digging her nails into the skin above my shoulders.

Only one time did we fuck on the couch. Never had we fucked in a sitting position. Emma liked to be in control, I knew. I loved letting her take control, it was incredibly sexy to watch her move above me.

"Em," A strangled moan escaped my throat when Emma grabbed me through the cotton of my boxers. My fingers left her and quickly pulled the waist band down enough to get the idea across to Emma.

My boxers pooled just under my knees, Emma gradually lowered onto me. The way she moved on me I knew it wouldn't be long before the living room smelt like sex, and the cushion cover would need washing.

Placing my hands on her back, I thrust deeply into her and sucked on her nipple. "Will!" Emma screamed out my name as I grinned lowly and relished her breasts.

"I can't wait to make a child with you." I supported my statement by grabbing her ass, teaching a faster pace. "I've wanted to for so long." Emma's pants in my ear told me she couldn't hold out longer, I let a finger slip to the skin behind her thigh.

My finger gently touched the curve of her ass and slowly trailed down her thigh, up her stomach and back to her breast. "Please Emma," I begged her to let go, and guided her lips back to mine.

I moved my hands up and down her back as Emma's head hid in my neck and we took a few moments to catch our breath. "I love making you come."

"I love coming for you."

xxx

Cyndi called and told me the play I would be auditioning would be _The Crucible_. She wanted me to watch the movie and read the play to audition as Thomas Putnam, per request of her friend.

Reading the play was mind-numbing. The thought that ' _Maybe I'm not invested in it yet_' pushed me through the tedious Act I. I plopped down on the bed, beer in hand, and turned on the tv.

I thought maybe watching the movie version would be more riveting than reading a thick play. I was already drained from reading, and I was fighting to keep my eyes open. I heard the door shut as I let my eyes drift to sleep, but I didn't expect to be straddled by a very hormonal Emma.

"Whatca watching?" She kissed my jaw and the skin of my neck. I wouldn't be surprised if she really didn't care about my answer.

"A movie for history class. We're studying the formation of America, and the Salem witch trials. Really, a lot of 'blah blah blah' when you keep kissing me like that." Emma jumped in my arms when John Proctor, the protagonist of the film, slid his plate across the table and slammed in his hands upon it in a fight with his wife, Elizabeth.

"What's his problem?" Emma slithered to my side and assigned her attention to the tv.

"His wife hasn't forgiven him for cheating on her when she was really sick. Abigail, the girl he cheated on his wife with, is accusing people of being witches and they're believing her. John went to town to see what everybody was talking about and Elizabeth, his wife, is concerned he saw Abigail again and that she will call witch on her."

In that moment, when Emma tensed in my arms, I knew I couldn't continue being the least bit an honorable man if I did not go against the direct order of Cyndi and her friend, and audition as John Procter. Emma sparked a fire in me, to do this for her. If I got this job I would make it my duty for her to never stress over our finances when we finally started a family.

The next morning I slipped out of bed early but Emma caught me and I was glad. If she didn't, I wasn't holding her tight enough during the night. "I have to talk to Figgins about showing the movie." It was a reasonable excuse and Emma slid back into bed. I drove right past the school though, and if I was actually going to talk to Figgins it would be in an email entitled "_My Two Weeks Notice"_

xxx

Emma's loud pre-sex moans reverberated off the bedroom walls. I sucked on her stomach and held her hips close to me.

My phone rang.

"Just ignore it baby. Ignore it."

"No, it could be something important." Before I finished my sentence the phone was against my ear.

"Will?" It was my father. "Will, your uncle passed away last night."

**A/N: Thank you for all your reviews so far! :) My face literally lights up when I read them so please keep sending them. Next week I will add a chapter that both my beta and I agree, is one of the best of the series so far and I can't wait to read your reviews!**


	6. Love

I acquired the information that my face was pale when Emma slipped my shirt over her head and rushed to my side. "Will? Are you alright? Your face is pale."

"Is that Emma? Put her on the phone." I handed the receiver to her and realized I wasn't catatonic and I didn't need to be. I only met him a few times when I was a child but nonetheless he was still my dad's brother.

"Oh my God, Paul are you sure?" Emma's hand shot to her mouth in shock from whatever my father told her. She put him on speaker and pulled us down to sit next to each other on the bed.

"Will your uncle-God I hate being on speaker-Rob left twenty million to me. He wants me to give you three million. It's in his will."

I took a deep breath, ran my hands down my thighs and watched as Emma's fingers intertwined with mine. "How did he get so much money?"

"He invested in Apple's stocks in the seventies." The seventies, that's when I was born. Uncle Rob was accumulating money my whole life.

"But he lived in that shack."

"He didn't want anyone to know because he didn't want to be pressured to loan money when he knew that person could not pay it back." My father and I both laughed at my late uncle's small trust in people, even family. "Look, Will, I don't expect you to come down to Arkansas but at least accept his money." I looked toward Emma to be my rock and conformation but her eyes were trained on our fingers. My father took our silence as a bad thing however. "It's in his will so you can say it was one of his dying wishes."

"Okay, Dad. Send the family my love and condolences." I looked directly at Emma when I spoke. She gave me a reassuring squeeze of our hands and smiled at me.

The next day at school was hard for me. I felt helpless to the pain I knew my father (and most likely my mother) were in. I came back to my office to retrieve my bag after walking and talking a student to their car, and almost ran into the chairs that sat across my desk. _Why are the lights off?_

I turned on the lights, and was greeted by a sight I wish I could keep in my mind for the rest of my life. "Hey sexy." Emma sat in my chair and propped her legs on my desk but restricted my eyes from following her thigh.

I sighed heavily. "Emma, please."

She cut me off, "Long day? Aw, you poor baby." She got up from her seat and unbuttoned the buttons at the top of my shirt, undid my belt and pants. "Let me help you relax, hm?"

"Can't we relax when we get home?" Emma's face lit up as if I cured cancer. She took my hand and walked with me to our car but sat me down in the passenger seat. Usually I drove. "Emma?" I lightly whined. I wondered what she had planned.

Emma peeled off my shirt when we got home and she laid me down on the bed. "Do you remember when I came back here to get our lunch?" Yes, I remembered. Emma acted strange when she came back, but I assumed she didn't know how to act around someone who just had a death in the family and didn't blame her for her unusual behavior.

She kissed along my jaw and neck. "While I was here, your phone rang." I remembered the frustration of realizing I left my phone on the kitchen counter.

"Some lady named Cyndi was on the line." I tensed. "She told me to tell you that you got the part." I relaxed a bit. "Why didn't you tell me you auditioned for something?"

I sat up and let her sit across from me. "Emma, I have to tell you something." I took a deep breath and held her hands. "Weeks ago after the kids performances Cyndi came up to me and told me her friend Evan wanted me to audition for a Broadway company he was starting."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"The company is in Corpus Christi, Texas. We'd have to move." I looked at her, my eyes begging her not to take my words in the wrong context.

Emma huffed. "I'm sure Cyndi would like that."

"No, I want to know what _you_ think about it."

"I don't like it. We're doing fine here. I know you want to be on Broadway and you think you still have a chance, but say we do move. What am I going to do? We're trying to have a baby, Will you can't start chasing your dreams now." Emma ran her fingers along mine, up my arms and down my thighs.

"Why aren't you happy for me?" I retracted from her touches.

"Because I'll be unhappy!" With her hands free she let them cut across the air. "I want to be happy for you Will believe me, I do. But if we move you'll be happy and I won't."

"I'm a little offended you think I didn't already look into schools and such." I tried to lighten the mood with a smile but Emma's face didn't change. "I looked up the school districts in Corpus and I even looked at houses in the best school districts. Cyndi even went out of her way to find a job for you."

"At an abandoned warehouse?"

Emma's harsh words cut through my stomach like venom. "Jesus Christ Emma," I ran my hands over my face. "Just trust me for a little bit, please. You want me to call her and we can talk to her?"

"Hello, Cyndi Lauper's office, may I help you?"

"Yes, it's Will Schuester I'd like to talk to Cyndi please." Emma was tense across the kitchen table from me. My cell phone sat in the middle of us and seemed to be the only thing keeping Emma from catapulting herself at me.

Her assistant put me through to Cyndi and she greeted me warmly. "Will, honey, how's everything going?" Her voice didn't falter even after realizing she was on speaker.

"Cyndi, hi! I have my wife on the phone, would you mind telling her what job you found for her?"

"Sure babe anything for the ruthless daring Will Schuester." I gripped a sharp smile but released it when Emma's face held a grimace. "After you gave me her resume I ran a job search and found an opening for a clinical psychologist at Christus Spohn Memorial Hospital in Central City, which is the inland downtown."

Emma looked intrigued. "It was just remodeled in May of 2011 so most of the buildings are new and fancy, without a scratch to them. Would you like me to send you the link Emma?" She said yes, and her and Cyndi talked for two more hours about the job. She did have a way with words, that I was actually happy with this time.

Then Emma asked the question.

"Has Will shown any affection towards you?"

"He is a very affectionate man, yes. But no, not in the way you are thinking. Emma, I have my eye on someone else, if you catch my drift. He's very cute, and much older than your husband, as am I. I hope we can accept Will into our growing family soon. From our conversation and what Will tells me -he won't shut up about you- you'd really enjoy CSMH." Emma smiled brightly at me, something I could only take as a good sign.

"Will, I have something to tell you." I rushed from the couch to the kitchen table and leaned over Emma's shoulders. "Evan emailed me and is offering you three hundred thousand dollars to start working in the spring. Is that enough for you?"

Emma and I looked at each other in awe at the amount of money we accumulated in the last two days. "Yes, yes that's fine."

"Okay! I don't want to put a dead line on your move, but he wants you here before Christmas." We shared our goodbyes and as soon as we hung up, Emma jumped into my arms.

"You money maker." Her lips kissed me fiercely and we barely got words out of our mouths. "You're so sexy."

"If I knew making money would make you this attracted to me I would've joined Wall Street years ago." I carried Emma to our bed room and let her fall on the bed with her legs wrapping around mine.

"You couldn't handle it sweetie. It's a dog eat dog world up there."

I all but tore the antagonizing material that covered Emma's chest off her body and surrendered my lips to her. "You love to tease me, don't you?" I rolled a nipple between my fingers, unconsciously thrusting when she hissed loudly at my actions.

"If I can't tease you what else can I do?"

"Oh, I don't know." I kissed around her face and my hand slowly slipped down to the spot between her thighs. "Miss me, talk to me, hold me," I pulled her panties down her legs, let her kick them off while my hand returned to her, where she really wanted me. "Love me. Can you do that for me Em?"

"I'll do anything you want," Breathless was my sweet Emma, laying under me, giving up to me as she whispered to me. "What do you want?"

"You." All the times I told Emma I wanted her, I never felt as connected as I did that night with her. I believe it's safe to say that every time we're together we learn something that makes us better the next time we join.

* * *

**A/N: I really do _love _reading all of your reviews! They make my face light up like no other, and I want to thank everyone who has for taking the time to send me their feedback. **


	7. Accumulation

"Der aint nuthing wrong wticha' baby." I let my fake southern accent run wild as I held a cowboy figure on Emma's knee.

"At least act your age, Will." Emma smiled gently at me though, and held my hand lightly in hers. I rambled through the wicker basket on the floor while she spoke and gasped, pulling out a toy.

"Em, look! It's Superman!" Coyly, I looked around, and slipped the small action figure in my jacket pocket.

"Will! Tell me you're not serious." Smiling vibrantly at her I let Superman drop into the basket.

"Emma and Will Schuester?" A short, overweight lady with faulty hair and a wart on her cheek all us to the counter. "So, I read on your chart that you're having issues becoming pregnant? Have you tried surrogacy?" Emma and I shared a scared, tentative look.

We saw every possible surrogate after that appointment. Religious nuts, the legally insane, immigrants, and those so poor this was their only option. I remember at one point Emma opened the door and slammed it right back. "Never in a million years." She said walking back to me. "We'll adopt before I let that one carry our baby." Until finally, after three months, we found someone acceptable. Her name was Jamie and her husband Bill didn't want any children for their own but wanted to spread their obvious extreme fertility with others who were not as 'gifted'.

"Emma?" I called into the living room where I knew she lay on the couch watching a movie. "Come on Em, we're gonna be late." I stuck my head out the hallway. "We have to meet with Jamie and Bill today." Still she did not budge. I thought maybe she was asleep, so I walked out with my shirt undone and messy curls that had yet to be tamed. "Honey?" Her eyes were open and looking at the tv, but obviously not paying attention. Her hand was on her stomach. "Are you ok?" I sat next to her and brushed some hair away, hoping to bring her from her revive.

"We don't need to see Jamie." I began to protest and Emma responded with putting my hand over hers and my talking ceased. "We did it by ourselves." She turned to face me. "I'm pregnant. We're having this baby, sweetie." Her eyes glistened and over flowed with tears.

Everyday at 6:47am for the next nine months, she would shoot out of bed and run towards the bathroom, suffering from morning sickness. She would always ask me to leave and after a few weeks I did. Only to return with saltine crackers, because I would never leave her alone. At four months we went back to the OB/GYN for an ultrasound. She held my hand through the entire procedure while I kissed her forehead and brushed away the hairs that wrangled free of her pony tail. "Congratulations, everything looks good so far. You're having twins!"

If Emma wasn't holding my hand so tight, I probably would have fainted.

We had to move then, or else the deal on a house would close. "Okay, Emma I don't want you to freak out." I drove her to our new living space and checked momentarily to make sure the beanie that proudly displayed the state we now lived in was still covering her eyes. We arrived and I pulled her out of the car, intertwining our fingers. "Alright sweetie, take a look." When I took off her beanie she was hopeful but upon landing her eyes on the empty plot of land her jaw slowly dropped.

"Are you joking?"

I smiled vibrantly, "No."

Emma dropped my hand and used hers to push on my chest. "Will! We have no furniture and no house to our name where the hell are we going to live?!"

"I'm renting us a house to stay. Picture it, Emma, our kids will grow up in a house I built with my own hands. How beautiful will that be?" My hands panned the horizon expressing my vision for the house.

"Sounds wonderful Will but we still have no furniture!" Her face began covering with a blush that I couldn't tell if the cause was frustration or the bitter Texas air that whipped around our unprotected faces.

"The house that I'm renting already has furniture." I pulled her flush against me, "It has a bar, a king size bed, a private outside pool, a jacuzzi large enough for two people to be comfortably seated..." My words were lifted and carried somewhere unknown and my lips fell to a place very well known; Emma's neck.

xxx

I read in a book Emma gave me that babies tend to kick from 9pm to 1am starting at the five month mark. Emma and I got a large calendar put up in our entry way to remind us of doctors appointments and month marks. When Emma began her fifth month I desperately waited to hear _'Will? The baby's kicking.'_ Every night I would watch Emma gently drift to sleep in my arms and go to sleep myself. We held each other tight to make up for lost time we spent with others. I came home from a furniture store at midnight and saw Emma snuggled in a long sleeve tee shirt and cocooned in our blankets. "Homesick?" Kissing her forehead, I stripped to my boxers and went to the bathroom to wash my face.

"No." Emma mumbled from her cocoon. "I was lonely waiting for you. Today was a hard day at work. I read that during your pregnancy you can get depressed, and I think today was one of those days." I emerged from the bathroom purely to take in the beautifulness of my wife in this stage of her pregnancy. Walking over to the closet I pulled out one of my most recent purchases, a _very_ expensive camera, and took a picture of her.

"Will!" Emma covered her face with blankets and I took pictures of that too. "Do you mind? Why are you doing this? Are you going to make a scrapbook or something?" I pulled back her shield and snapped a few more during her protests.

"Will you stop being a dork and cuddle me already?" Emma slapped her hand at me forcing me to back away and place my camera back in the closet and coming to her arms. I held her stomach against mine and turned on the tv hoping to distract her from the woes that hit her today. My jaw did that job better than the tv did, obvious by Emma's attention to my neck.

After two hours, I felt something on my belly. "Emma?" I called her attention to me. "What was that?"

"I don't know. I've been feeling it all day. It happens in cycles, it's weird." I put my ear to her stomach and it happened again.

"Darling, I think that's the baby kicking."

"Oh my God." Emma put her hand on top of mine and leaned towards my lips. "We're a family."

xxx

"Honey?" Emma called to me from our bedroom in the condo we currently rented inland while I built our house. Getting up from the couch I groaned lowly as the pain in my back got worse when I left the warming sensation of a heating pad.

"Yes sweetie?" Peering in the doorway, I tried not to seem in pain.

"Can you give me a massage? Somebody's really kicking today."

"Sure, honey. Anything for you." I kissed her cheek and gratefully watched her strip of her shirt and laid down after exposing her growing breasts. "So...when did the doctor say we could have sex?"

Emma reprimanded me in a way that didn't feel like I was actually being punished. "Well, okay, we don't _have to_ have sex. But I think you know what I want.."

"And I want a massage. And your clothes off. But keep your boxers on."

I leaned down to her ear and whispered lustfully, "What ever mommy wants, mommy gets." I felt her shiver before I got off to strip per her commands and grabbed a bottle of massaging oils she bought a week after we moved. Starting at her shoulders my hands moved down her the curve of her back just before the curve of her ass began. Her pants were pulled up to her belly button and I pulled them down with much force, emitting a soft moan from Emma.

She remembered how we loved before she carried our children, the raw dirtyness of our lovemaking still plagued her thoughts as they did to mine. I know she watches and reads erotic images and thinks of us. I know that even though we haven't made love in two and a half months, she wasn't sexually frustrated at all. We both engaged in release and releasing each other. Our nights were lust filled to say the least.

Nimbly I moved my fingers around the back of her hips and up to the valley of her waist, kneeding with my knuckles and elbows and pushing in on particularly deep knots with my thumbs. Emma did not make any sounds but I wasn't exactly concerned. I wanted to make her feel good, and if it was so good she couldn't speak, I would consider it an accomplishment. After all the knots in her center back disappeared I moved up to her shoulders, and placed a kiss between them. I focused on her skin, the color, the texture, the smell, and the feel of it against my lips and fingers. I continued to kiss her when I massaged her shoulders and worked my way around to her neck, when I heard her gentle snoring.

I smiled despite myself. I held her in my arms tightly and covered us with the blanket. I slipped asleep, content only because she was with me.

Xxx

"Your ultra sound came back positive for possible autism, down syndrome and blindness."

Those words shattered my world. I told Emma I would protect her from anything and I meant _anything._ If our twins did come out with this disorder, that would only provide more stress for her, and me. Stress would bring back her OCD even worse than ever before. If I was totally honest, I don't know if I could deal with that. I would have to take care of two newborns with issues and Emma with OCD and she probably wouldn't come close to them. They needed her and she needed them. What a pitiful life our children would have if their own mother was afraid of them.

Emma sat on the couch, watching a reality show she had been addicted to recently. I sat at the kitchen table where we usually share pancakes or eggs and hunched over my script. I was supposed to learn John Proctor's lines by January but I couldn't focus. Emma came into the kitchen to make us a quick dinner. Everything was louder. I could feel the _sizzle_ of the fish splashing in vegetable oil. The continuous sound of vegetables spinning in the microwave. The _ding_ of the timer. And most dramatically, the sound of my tears hitting the paper below me. Soon my papers started to get wet with my tears. By now Emma's show ended and she was behind me making a quick dinner. I tried to be quiet but therefor started shaking. Emma turned around to ask me if I was ready for dinner when she saw my shoulders violently shaking.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

My words couldn't come out right and I started shaking harder and stuttering everything that came out of my mouth. Without another word Emma picked me up by my hands and held me. Gently, she started moving with me, dancing, like we had at our wedding. I wanted to ask 'What are you doing? ' but I was still shaking could not speak.

We danced until I was stable and probably hours after that. Emma held my hand and took us up the stairs of our condo to our bedroom. She undid my tie and shirt and placed them in a folded pile on the floor. She took off my belt and pants and added them to the pile. Her clothes sat in their own pile next to mine. Emma grabbed my pajama pants from the dresser and I stepped into them. She slipped into her nightgown and led me to our bed.

I held her hips and pulled her to me. Still we said nothing. I closed my eyes and focused on the feel of Emma in my arms. I feel before I heard, Emma's small whimpers and the tears fall into the crook of my neck. I kissed her hair and wet it with my own tears. I pulled her closer to me. Our tears provided exhaustion and led to sleepiness. We fell asleep with fresh tears on our cheeks yet, stronger love in our heart.

Xxx

"They said I couldn't go in yet because I'm not dilated enough." Emma mocked the tone the doctors talked to her in, and she spoke loudly for them to hear her down the hall. "Well these babies want out and I'm about to let them!" I distracted her by reading some baby books she bought earlier and packed in her hospital bag. I told her how happy I was, how long I wanted this and how I wouldn't want to share this with anyone else. We had to say goodbye when she went into labor but they let me watch from a booth across the room. Emma was put to sleep with drugs because the doctors had to perform a C-Section. I couldn't tell who was who, but when all the doctors began circling around one body I could tell something was wrong.

"What's going on?" Victoria asked and turned to Evan, holding his hand tightly. They were married and trying to have children of their own.

"I don't know babe." He kissed her head and slapped his hand on my shoulder, but I didn't feel anything. I saw a lot of wires on my baby girl and she was transported to the ICU. The sweat from my hand made a mark on the glass and I pulled it away when the doctor called my attention.

"Mr. Schuester?" I dried the tears from my face and turned towards him. "There's nothing seriously wrong. She had a little trouble breathing, and we're gonna keep her here until we think she can survive on her own." They let me look at her and let Emma hold our son, wrapped in a blue blanket

"Who am I holding?" Emma asked me, getting a better grip on him. I chose our son's name, and she chose our daughters name, and neither of us divulged in telling the other what we chose.

"Anthony." Emma's eyes sparkled and I classified it as a new mother's thing. "Who am I..?"

"Kaylee." Emma smile down at Anthony, putting her hand on his head to support his neck. He wriggled around, opening and closing his mouth. But one action I'll never forget, and will always be thankful that my camera was with me that day, was when Anthony made a gurgle sound, and reached up to hold Emma's large finger in his tiny one. Every day I look at that picture, I'm amazed at the work of the universe that I happened to be taking pictures at that exact moment and managed to capture the entire action in five frames.

"Anthony and Kaylee, I love you so much already and your daddy loves you just as much."


	8. Save Me

_A month and two weeks without Emma, or my four month old twins, was what I could only describe as torture. She went up for Thanksgiving, I stayed down to finish the house. I didn't want to spend a holiday called 'Thanksgiving' with possibly the least thankful, giving family on the face of the Earth. The day after, Emma's mother was found on her bed without a breath in her lungs. They rushed her to the hospital and brought her back to life._

_I almost laughed when Emma told me her mother forgot to breathe, just because of the sheer ridiculousness of the action. She continued to tell me that two months after our wedding she was diagnosed with Dementia; a lost of neurons in her brain that helped with memory. Her brother and father knew but the message never got to Emma and I._

_"Will?" Emma's voice was breathy when I answered the phone. I wondered why she didn't Skype me. She knew I wasn't working on the house this late. She didn't know that I spend the last three days sitting in our condo, living out the end of our lease, waiting for her to come home._

_"The doctors said she could go any day now. I need you up here." I took the red eye to her and held her through the morning, through her tears and sleep. Just as the doctors predicted her mother pasted away the second day I visited._

_Her last words were simple, but complex enough to haunt both of us. "I'm sorry." I don't think Emma ever understood, but I did. The reason I never told Emma what her mother meant was simple. Even though she did not understand, it gave her closure. Her mother never apologized for anything._

Lake Travis was beautiful, no doubt, but not to Emma, not tonight. She visited this lake many times during her childhood and teen years. Her first kiss was shared on that pier to the right but Emma would rather set it on fire than sit and reflect. I did, though. Emma almost laughed because I was not aware of the significance. She watched as a rock skipped across the lake and her eyes darted back to me when I shivered from the icy wind. An empty Starbucks cup sat next to me, something I picked up before driving to this house.

"Why don't you go inside and take a hot shower?" In the right tone of voice, this suggestion would sound loving and caring, but the way Emma snapped at me took away any idea of those traits being embedded in the sentence.

"Not without you." My eyes never met hers. Hers drifted to the forest around us, remembering how she would spend entire summers in those woods, exploring. Her high school boyfriend would take her out there when she was angry at her family, and she would completely forget about them.

Her brother came out to tell us that Emma's father wanted us inside, so we wouldn't get sick. "I feel like a teenager who's date got cut short."

Emma and I sat across from each other in her teenage bedroom. I could imagine her, lying on the bed, being ravished by a boy. I could visualize her removing her top, just for him.

She would be sitting on her bed, using her laptop when a soft beat would play on the window. Carefully, she would move over to open it and peer down at the boy who came to see her. He would climb on the small toy shed her father kept his tools in and through her window. They would sit like we are now, both nervous and pondering what to do next. At the same time they would try to break the silence and laugh. He would scoot closer so she could hear his low speak, as it was now midnight. While he was listening intently to her passionate words, he would tilt his head and kiss her.

"Can I take care of you?" Her head shot up as I broke the silence, and both of our memories. Her breathing was pained, and in her eyes was nothing but agony and confusion. "Just for now." Emma didn't say anything, but grabbed a towel and walked to the bathroom. I followed her. If I was honest, I didn't trust her judgment at this moment and didn't want her to be alone.

We stayed under the hot spray of the shower head until it turned ice cold. I stepped out first, slipped a towel around my waist and wrapped my dear Emma in a warm towel of her own.

That night, Emma separated herself as much as she could when we slept in the same bed. I couldn't sleep, I was too worried about her. Instead, I stared at the ceiling and let my thoughts go wild. The silence in the room was broken when I heard Emma whimper.

"Honey? Honey what is it?" I moved her shoulder to the bed so I could see her face, contorted and wet with tears. She pulled my arm over her waist and though I grasped it, I was reluctant. "Come on darling, please tell me what's troubling you."

"I have to go." Emma hastily left the bed, putting her slippers on and walking around the bed.

"Where are you going to go?" I sat up.

"Um, out. F-For a while."

I ran my hands through my curls and tilted my head to hit the headboard. She didn't make a movement to leave. She was waiting for me. "Em it's 3am."

"I'll be fine."

"What if you're not?" I got up from the bed and walked over to her, reaching for her hands. "You're not okay, Em. All you need is a good cry." She didn't look convinced.

I touched her arm with my fingers gently. My voice was husky and broken and my eyes were teary. "Please stay." She was shocked by the emotions in my voice and face and nodded. I dragged her to the bed and slid in next to her. "Let me embrace you. You can cry on my shirt." I picked her chin up to look deeply in my eyes. "I'm here to wipe your eyes."

x

Emma's questioning was persistent as I drove down the Texas coast late Christmas day. At every twist and turn of her interview I would not give in. Amid her commitment to discover my answer for her assiduous inquisitions she nibbled on my ear, ran her hand along my chest, and cupped me through my pants.

"Darling, there are children in the car." She denied they could pick up on what was going on in the front of the car. "You never know. Babies are really smart." From my peripheral vision I watched Emma's confusion once again surface when I pulled into a parquet drive way.

"Will," She spoke breathlessly. "Is this," She got out of the car, her jaw down to the floor. I got the babies out of their car seats and silently asked Emma to hook arms with me, which she did, and we walked towards the house.

Cold darkness absorbed every inch of the air where we did not touch, also rendering Emma's blindness to the pastel blue color of the cement walls. I watched Emma's eyes grow wider when I opened the door. The hallway was long and wide with opening arches on each side for the kitchen and the living room. I let her walk of her own accord into the living room and gauged her reaction at the shelves covering the width and height of the wall and the flat screen tv in the middle. A Christmas tree was tucked in a corner, already decorated with ornaments and an array of presents at its feet.

"Did you...?" I smiled at Emma, yes I cut down our Christmas tree. On the coffee table sat seasonal cookies and wine. Emma looked at me, her eyes as wide as the day I met her. She didn't say anything but she didn't have to because I could read her face like an old book.

Her nimble hand ran across the top of the beige couch and she retreated the living room when the kitchen caught her eye. At first she saw two large cabinets and an island in the middle of the room. Bread sticks sat in a basket and they appeared to be steaming from being freshly cooked. Stove tops were almost unnoticeable as they looked more like a thin mat on a counter top than a force capable of giving off such heat as it could.

I followed her around like a puppy and carried our children in my hands. Reaching the end of the kitchen Emma came across a desk with a notebook a top it, open to a specific page. _'I love you!'_ Was scribbled in large letters across the page and I stepped back when Emma kissed me unexpectedly and forcefully.

"Merry Christmas sweetie."


	9. Assumptions

**A/N: I am really really _really _sorry for taking so long to update. I'm dealing with some very personal issues and a lack of motivation, and I write when I can. I don't know when I will update next, and I hope you all can stay with the story despite my terrible history of updates, because there is a lot of interesting plot coming up. The next few chapters will be Emma's POV because the plot is focusing on her for the time being. After several chapters the POV will switch back to Will for the same reason. Enjoy, and please review!**

* * *

"I know what you're going to say."

"Yeah?" I asked him questionably, even though I knew he was right.

"You're afraid of her diagnosis."

"No. I'm not." I lied, and he could tell and squeezed my hand tighter. "There's nothing wrong with him. He's perfect."

"You have a reason to be scared. This isn't" Jamie interrupted him and called us over to where she sat at our kitchen counters. The look on her face was not promising.

"Now..." She started slowly, gauging each word she used. "Keep in mind that he's only fourteen months old."

"What do you think?" I blurted out, because I couldn't wait any longer and my grip on Will's hand tightened significantly.

Her head dropped. "From what you told me and what I saw...I do think it's possible…that Anthony has autism." The tears that had formed at just the thought began to spill out and Jamie put her hands up in defense. "The symptoms could go away as you watch him grow up..."

"We understand." Will pulled me to his shoulder and I placed my head there in defeat. "Thank you Jamie." He reached over and shook her hand and tended to me as she gathered her things. When the door shut Will kissed my head gently and picked me up. He carried me to the bedroom and laid me down on our bed. I didn't say anything, choosing rather to sob gently on his chest. "I know. I know." Will whispered in my ear, and kissed around my neck and face lovingly.

I cried for about twenty minutes before Will's phone went off and Anthony cried. We both groaned. Will took his phone from the nightstand to see what was so urgent at midnight on a Sunday. "The theater wants me. They say they've just finished the script and need the actors to read it." He looked down at me sorrowfully. "I have to go. This determines whether I get the part or not." He kissed me fleetingly and looked around for his jacket that I threw on the floor, and the _Texas Astros_ hat he recently bought.

He found them both quickly, our room wasn't messy, and turned around to me. "I'll check on Anthony if you want..."

"No, no." My face softened and I plastered a smile and a brave face. "You go to your practice. I'll check on him."

Will walked closer to me and cupped my face. "I love you." He kissed me sweetly and gazed at me, wondering and concerned before he left.

"Break a leg." After gently teasing him, I dabbed my eyes, not daring to look in the mirror. Picking Anthony up, I sighed deeply. "What's wrong?...Hun buddy?" I shook him gently and walked around in slow circles. When his cries subsided I carried him downstairs to the living room, because I didn't want him to cry again, and I desperately needed comfort. Even from the one who made me sob.

I peered down at him, as he lay next to me. His eyes closed and his chest raised and fell as he breathed in a slow pace.

When Will got home from midnight practice he saw the tv on. Walking closer, he realized I fell asleep watching the news.

"Houston soccer team - best in the nation." The large plasma tv spat out before powering off. Will turned around and realized how adorable he thought I looked. I held Anthony in my arms, wearing sweat pants and a shrunken tank top he used to own. He wouldn't pass up an opportunity for a candid of his wife and son. That led his weary, aching body up the stairs and to his office, rummaging through his drawers until finding the $3,000 camera he should take better care of.

I found the developed pictures on my nightstand the next morning when I woke up, and rolled over to talk to Will, but he wasn't there. The sound of bacon sizzling and the toaster oven ding provided energy to walk down the stairs and to the kitchen. I brought his camera with me as a strange impulse. I was able to snap a few canids of him scurrying around the kitchen before my existence in the kitchen was acknowledged.

"Mornin' honey. Sleep well?"

"Yeah..." I sat down at the counter, and accepted the plate he slid in front of me. "Did you carry me to our bed last night?" I developed a reputation for walking around in my sleep when I was pregnant, and I still did it sometimes.

"Mmmh." Will walked around the counter to sit next to me, and I almost choked when I saw his apron. He noticed, and ruffled the frills near his knee. "You like?"

"I like you embracing your feminine side. But," I ruffled the frills as well, and kept my hand on his knee. "I'm beginning to wonder if your feminine side is stronger than mine.."

x

Goosebumps erupted over my arms as I walked into the sudden but welcome bitter cold. I heard the faint sound of thunder rolling by, though it did not dent my determination. My head lolled about as I looked up to the clouds and felt a light tear from the sky hit my temple. This reminded me of the day we brought Anthony home and it was pouring rain relentlessly. Will and I laughed as he ran towards the front door to unlock it and provide his child and wife the opportunity of safety a few seconds earlier. The leaves crinkled under my feet and I walked in slow circles, taking in everything I possibly could. I stepped onto the pavement lightly, and kept my surroundings in perspective while letting my mind walk anywhere it pleased. A cold breeze whipped around my side and conformed to my body at my every move. I released my pockets of holding my hands to wrap my arms around my middle and fold under each other. The stance was defensive, and so was I. I would let no one remove the things I had worked hard to finally achieve.

I reached the gallery in no time. I talked to no one but myself as I pondered the bravery of the artists around me. Walking around the room slowly, I awed at the confidence these people had against burglary and plagiarists. The streetlights provided a different view of the world around me as I walked home. I was thinking of things in a way I never had before. I felt the need to write about my short trip to the gallery in excruciating detail. With pencil to paper, I let my subconscious create the words I could not verbally express.

"Emma?" I glanced at the watch on my wrist for explanation of his surprise at seeing me hunch over his notepad alone in the study at 2am. I looked back at him for _his_ explanation of arriving home at 2am.

"Come here." It wasn't the way he beckoned me to come closer than made me, it was the devilish grin the stretched from ear to ear that pulled me in front of him. He leaned forward with a familiar glint in his eyes. He nibbled on the lobe of my ear then moving to suck on the skin behind it, before finally releasing the news that made him so cocky.

"I got the part."

I jumped in his arms immediately, surprised they were waiting for me. My fingers scratched and clung to the cloth on his shoulders as they always did when he held me and I kissed his neck so gently as I never did and he shook. He dropped to his ass and I screeched quietly when I landed in his lap. "I'm so so _so_ proud of you. I told you you had this in the bag...Eric loves you."

"Impromptu celebration?" His face looked innocent, but he was most likely hoping for sex.

I moaned lowly as if I was pondering his proposal. "What do you have in mind, Mister Schuester?" I put special diction on his name while nibbling on his ear as he did to me earlier.

"A simple glass of wine." A simple glass of wine turned into _glasses_ of wine and transpired to his strong arms carrying me haphazardly up the stairs to our bedroom, and his nimble fingers removing my clothing. As 'a simple glass of wine' always would.


	10. Theatricality

I jumped in Will's arms when the play was over. For once, I didn't care how crazy I looked, or what anybody else thought and I kissed him, hard. He kissed me back, pushing me gently against the wall next to him before his face covered with blush and he put me down. He smiled at me adoringly and I knew exactly what would happen that night. He took my hand and grabbed a few things off his table in the other, and without another word to the cast and crew, walked out with me on his arm.

"Where are the kids?" I wrapped the warm coat around my waist and looked at my husband, so damn handsome. Especially on that stage tonight, he had such passion for his art and it warmed my heart. I remembered why I fell for him in the first place. He had such devotion to the Glee Club and he never let Figgins or Sue, or even Terri, deprecate his hunger to bring the popularity of the club back. And now, that devotion was split, but not stretched, between me, our children and being an actor on Broadway.

"Evan and Victoria are taking care of them for the night. They wanted to 'practice' and I wanted us to have a night alone." He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and I leaned into the affectionate gesture. He was so warm, and strangely, I didn't want to go home. I knew I didn't have to dread planning a romantic dinner for us to have it be ruined by the kids, but it felt good to spend time with him again. We were so busy taking care of the babies that we never had any time just for us. We actually haven't _really_ talked since they were born, five months ago. Maybe a 'Pass the bottle.' or, 'We need more diapers.' and if I was lucky he would take a picture of me playing with the kids and make me feel beautiful for a few seconds until Anthony would puke on the towel on my shirt and Will would have to put the camera down to burp him.

Will was really good with Anthony. He just, connected. I don't think it's the Father/Son relationship that makes Will so good with him either. Anthony is a really fussy baby, and I can never calm him down. It used to depress me because this creature came from my body and I, his mother, couldn't calm him.

I peered up at him and purred softly in his ear, "Hmmm, a night alone. That sounds...romantic." Usually he shivers when I whisper in his ear and either he had too much wine to calm his nerves and was already a little buzzed, or I wasn't being smutty enough. I shrugged it off because it was my name that came from his mouth at his climax.

I stopped him from slamming my back into the tv that sat innocently on the coffee table against the wall, and convinced him to at least make it to the stairs before he couldn't hold out any longer.

While we were walking home, the doctor called and told us we could be sexually active again. When I told Will he almost took me against a fake tree. I told him if my back was going to hurt, I would rather it be from his nails than the fake bark of a tree. So now we were halfway up the stairs of our baby-less house about to make reckless love like it was our first time again. In a way, it was.

"Do you know how many dreams I've had about this?" Will whispered from his place on my neck, and his voice sent vibrations through my body since he refused to pick his lips up from the place that was sure to have a hickey in the morning.

"As many as me?" I rarely told him the things I thought about him, for a very good reason. Whenever I _did_ tell him, I got the loudest moan and the largest confession from him, and that was something I would step across hot coals for.

He chuckled lowly against my skin again, and I hastily thrust my hips into his because he sent shivers down my back. "No, no I don't think so. I think about you all the time." I roughly pulled his head up by the curls at the nape of his neck, tightened my legs hold on his hips and kissed him deeply.

We kissed until my legs were weak and I gave out, sliding to the floor beneath him. I cupped him through the cotton of his John Procter clothes and motioned for him to wrap his legs around me. My hand rested on his rapidly beating heart as my forehead rested on his shoulder. My breathing was erratic and I tried to catch it while his hands rubbed my back.

"You make a really sexy colonist." I picked my head up and played with the tufts of hair that peeked out of his very low cut v-neck. "And you were amazingly sexy on that stage."

"Yeah?" He leaned in so our foreheads touched. His voice was lowered to that place he saved for me when he spoke. "I wonder what I did, so I can do it again now."

"Will..." I quietly whined, because he was always putting himself down. "You're always sexy." My hands cupped his face and I brought his eyes to meet mine. "You're perfect, all the time. When will you realize that?" I didn't give him time to answer, because I knew just what he would say. I kissed him sweetly and reassuringly, making sure my kiss was equivalent to my words.

He gently slid his tongue through and moved it slowly around. His hands roamed my stomach, flat again. I was blessed with no extra weight from the kids but I worked out with Will now because I was afraid I would gain weight otherwise. I think he liked watching me more than someone would think. Watching me move around in tight clothes, sweating and breathing shallow, I knew it turned him on, it reminded him of when we would make love.

"Emma," His hands reached under my shirt to my bare breast and he pulled away, groaning.

I smirked at him. "Anthony needed to be fed before we left." I squeaked and held to him tightly when he suddenly picked me up by the cheeks of my ass and carried us the remaining distance to our bedroom.

"You're so damn sexy." He said as he was turning the silver knob of the door. "Such a minx." He started to suck on my collar bone and all my resolve was lost. I looked around the room as much as I could, spotting rose petals thrown on the floor and candles lighting a dim path to our bed.

I tried to speak, but his lips on my skin made me moan and whimper instead of form a coherent phrase. He lay me down and I grabbed the fabric of his shirt, gratefully pulled him down to the bed and straddled him before he knew what happened. "You planned this?" I sucked on his Adam's apple to get the truth out of him quicker.

"Mmmh..." I had the same effect on his as he did on me. I rolled my hips into his. "God, you're so good." I held the back of his neck as I moved down to his chest. I knew Evan and the company wouldn't be very happy if we tore the outfit, even if it was in a fit of passion. I teased him with my nails against his sensitive chest, slowly removing his shirt.

He sucked in a breath when my hands reached the waistband of his pants. I kissed both of his thighs, making sure he could feel my hair against his throbbing erection. I removed his pants and boxers quickly, and placed my hands on his chest. He appeared to be committing my look to memory when I climbed off him.

He began to sit up and I pushed him down again. "Nuh-uh, you lay down." Coyly I looked down at the top button of my blouse. Glancing at him again, I undid all the buttons keeping skin from skin and tossed my blouse behind me. I turned around and shimmed off my skirt, letting him gawk at my ass shaking in front of him. With my skirt came my panties both which I threw to join the blouse.

He got up and walked around me. His hands held my hips and he pushed me on the bed forcefully. I giggled. He looked at me lustfully and pushed inside me, and all my giggles were replaced with a loud moan of his name.

"I've missed you so much."

"I know." He looked at me, baffled. "You dream about it, I hear you." I rolled my hips with his and he groaned into my shoulder. "I know why you take an hour in the bathroom." He picked his head up and looked in my eyes. He knew he wouldn't have to do that anymore.

We kissed deeply and slow as his hips were lazy with mine. We explored each other again, and for a moment I thought he forget where to press to make me scream. He was so content that I flipped him over with ease. Once I got comfortable above him I squeezed him intentionally and he hit my thigh hard. I collapsed on him and he picked my head up to kiss him forcefully. His tongue moved feverishly with mine and his pace increased dramtically until I stopped him with my hands on his hips. He completly stopped and looked at me questionably. I shook my head and dove to his neck. I didn't wait for him to join the slow pace at which my hips moved, but I didn't have to wait long nonetheless.

"How did you feel when I was pregnant?" I shyly hid my head in the crook of his neck.

"Like I was the luckiest man alive." His hands roamed across my back comfortingly. "I feel like that every time you look at me." I followed his cryptic instructions and watched him from my place in his neck and moved down to place kisses across his chest. My lips were over his heart when he said the three words I'll always treasure from his mouth. "I love you." I could feel him watching me, waiting for me to do something drastic so he could have a good reason to let go. "Possibly more after the past year we've had together."

I took his shoulder and rolled onto my back and pulled him atop me. I hitched both my legs around his waist and thrust my hips quickly. His release in my core spurred my own and he flipped us over again.

It was my chuckle that made him glance at me. His face glistened with sweat and bliss. "What's so funny?" He played with my hair and hoped for the best.

"If we keep flipping over we'll roll off the bed." My hand reached up to move my hair from my eyes, but he noticed before I did. "I was reading one of your scripts the other day when I was waiting for Anthony to go down and I thought it would be really hilarious if they fell off the bed." My eyes re-opened from picturing myself in that moment and I saw his eyes, so filled with love and passion. "You know in the, uh" I cleared my throat and all humor in my voice was lost. "In the love scene."

He copied my words and we ended saying the sentence together. I was suprised, because we never were that coupe that finished each others sentences, but he blew it off and continued, with that same spark in his eye. "You know, that's not such a bad idea. I'm going to call Evan and tell him."

He slid out from under me and I whinned childishly. "Now? It's," I glanced at the clock on the nightstand next to the phone, but Will was already picking it up. "Eleven thirthy. Will," I took the phone from his hand and looked at him pleadingly. "They've probably just got Anthony down and are preparing for bed. Can't you tell him tomorrow?"

I put the phone back and lay Will down on his side, snuggling up to him. "They let us have this night of peace and wonderful romance," I nudged his side with my shoulder. "Let them have a nights rest."

When I finished my argument, Will was almost sound asleep above me. I placed a kiss to his cheek and neck. One thing I really love about Will is that not matter how sleepy he is, he always pulls me closer to him and mumbles some slightly choerent thought back to me.

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed! Please keep doing it! Thank you.**


	11. Observations

I saw my breath when we walked outside, and I ran back inside to grab more jackets for the kids. Will, on each side, was carrying what looked more like rolls of thick winter jackets than our small children. So humorous was the sight in front of me, that I brought the camera from around my waist and snapped a picture. I reminded myself to complain to Will about his hobbies rubbing off on me."Will," I whined anxiously and jumped in place to rid of the cold. "Are you sure they'll be warm enough?" I reached to help Will lock the seat belt around them, but the satisfying click told me I wasn't needed. I shrunk behind Will, awaiting his answer.

"Em," He sighed and walked around to the drivers side, and plopped into the seat; thereby forcing me to envelope myself in the warmth of the car to finish the conversation. "It's a miracle we got them in the car seat. I think they'll be fine." He turned from backing out of the driveway to smile comfortingly at me and place his hand on my knee while we drove away.

"I still think Evan and Victoria would be more than happy to care for them…" I rambled on outside the dressing room. My knee bounced up and down and Kaylee, who sat on my thigh, seemed to be enjoying the motion. Anthony was dozing off on my shoulder.

"They're dealing with their own child. We can't trust on them every time we want alone time." I heard the sound of a zipper and saw Will's feet jump to get comfortable in the pants. "We have a sitter Emma.." He opened the door and stepped out to view himself in the other mirror.

"How do you like it?" He tugged on the lapels of his vest and readjusted the pocket watch.

"I think it's fine, Will." I huffed in frustration and picked Kaylee up from my thigh. She squeaked in disapproval and hung to the fabric of my shirt while I sat the still sleeping Anthony on the bench. "Why does it matter what I think?" I didn't mean the words to sound so forceful as they did, and I eventually set Kaylee down.

"Because…You're my wife." Will took my hand in his and pulled me under his arm. I studied the reflection of us in the mirror, and he must have too since it was a while until he spoke and his voice was full of tears when he did. "I don't aim to impress anyone else but you." His hand left mine and moved to run across my back in a way he knew I melted under.

"I know how hard it's been. And I know you know it will get better. Not tonight, or tomorrow, maybe not even next week. But you know someday it will." He tilted my head to look in my eyes, and his were filled with longing. For his wife, for the woman he married. "And you know I'll be here for that someday, and long after that."

I laughed in spite of myself and shook my head as if I couldn't believe my previous behavior. "I don't know what got into me." The look on Will's face told me he did, and deep down I did too. His lips formed a small and fleeting frown and I knew he would finally step up.

"Why don't you buy yourself something nice?" I huffed, and sat next to Anthony and ran my hands through his hair. His sister was dozing off on his shoulder too, and even though they couldn't understand us if they were awake, I was glad they were asleep.

"I spent my entire weekly salary on the backyard renovation we both wanted before the kids could walk." I told him, agitated. When Will build the house he didn't have the time nor the expertise to create the suburban backyard we imagined. He still wanted to make that dream a reality during the first year and a half of the kids' lifes but wouldn't take the innovative to make it true. I was so tired of hearing him whine about how bare the backyard looked, and how it's not a place for kids, and that our life isn't perfect because our backyard has literally nothing but grass and a few trees, so I obtained a _Home Depot_ credit card and went to work.

"Em, we have more money than your salary." We spent so much time together since we met, I knew he didn't mean this offensively however it sounded. "Use my money from _The_ _Crucible_."

"I'm not going to use your money." I refused to look at him, I hated to look at his facial expressions when we had arguments. They ranged from disappointed to anger and frustration.

I could picture him running his hands across his face and through his hair. "Honey, it's-"

"I'm not going to be a gold digger, Will!" I yelled at him too loudly and looked over to the kids to calm myself while awaiting his answer. I fixed their hair meticulously and caught my breath harshly. I peered at Anthony, wondering how much he would be like his father, and then at Kaylee, hoping she would be nothing like her mother.

"Emma," He sat next to me and made me look at him by tilting my neck to him. "I would _never_ think of you like that." He ran his thumbs over my face and tucked stray hairs behind my ear. His voice was loving, rather than hasty, when he spoke again. "You're my wife, I love you and I _want _ to share my money with you. I've always wanted to get you anything you desired and now I can. Please let me." My eyes welt up with tears and he cupped my cheeks to kiss me sweetly and pulled away with a slight smirk, because he could tell he convinced me.

"Okay, maybe just one dress."

I snaked my arm with Will's and held on tightly as we stood on the escalator. He held Anthony in his arms, who was still sleeping, and I held Kaylee's shoulders as she pressed her face against the glass keeping us from falling. I was slightly trembling from fear, which was stupid because I knew I wouldn't fall, yet I was still scared. The only mall I had ever been to that even compared in size to this one in downtown Houston was the Mall Of America where I went once to get my wedding dress altered.

I felt Will adjust Anthony in his arms, and he groaned. "This is why he doesn't sleep at night."

"At least he's getting some rest." I let my hand rub across Will's shoulders comfortingly, because I knew how tired he was. "My book says to let them sleep whenever they do."

"It also says to sleep while they're sleeping. But we can't because Kaylee won't go down before eight and Anthony doesn't go down at all." I looked at him, shocked that he read the book I was nagging him to read since we found out we were having children. Kaylee heard her name and looked up and I laughed, because she had recently learned to respond to her name and was so adorable with her sandy blonde curls framing her face.

I knew this conversation could not be continued. Not because we reached the end of the escalator or even because we were in public, but because the only thing we could do to relieve the situation we were doing. "Oh Will! I didn't know they had an ice rink here!" I swooned as the cold air hit us. "Please skate with the kids! It would be so perfect, Will." He looked at me for conformation of the excitment he heard in my voice and I beamed a smile at him. His face wore the tell-tale sign of tiredness, despite I knew how much he loved spending time just with the kids.

"Okay, get us a ticket." Luckily, we could pass the kids off as just old enough to be allowed and walked down the steps to retrieve skates and then back up again. "I haven't done this since high school. I don't know if I'll remember how to do it."

"You'll be fine, Will." He finished tying the kids skates and started on his own. "I believe in you." I pulled him up for a sweet and deep kiss, one when haven't experienced in public since the kids were born and I pushed him toward the rink.

The kids were wide eyed when Will pulled them onto the cold rink and I snapped pictures vigorously like Will taught me. At one point, they were even on the tv above the rink that showed advertisement on a constant loop. Kaylee fell a few times, but nowhere near how often Anthony fell. He spent more time on his butt than his feet. "Well, Anthony won't be an ice skater when he grows up." Will joked as he hoisted the kids to 'dry' land again.

"At least he won't have to wear those horrendous outfits." The pictures I took that day would be a gap in the stuffed animal era, since Hoppy, our dog, chewed on both Kaylee and Anthony's bears that we got from Will's mother when they were born.

Will removed their shoes and returned them to the lonely looking teenager and picked Kaylee up happily. "Lets get you a bear, hun princess?" He tickled her quickly and she screeched before giggling and throwing her hands up. I was surprised when he told me we were going to Build-A-Bear Workshop, because I swore I didn't see it on the Galleria's list of stores. I shrugged, because it's a _very_ big mall.

"Which one are you going to make Kaylee?" I leaned over and helped her view all the stuffed animals, watching as she ran her hands over all of them and occasionally picked one up and hugged it because, "My bear a good hugger." She took a pink one with a tiara off the shelf and hugged it, then sighed and turned to me and nodded her head vigorously. She dressed her bear, Sparkly, in a tutu and a faux pearl necklace.

Will and I met up at the cash register where Kaylee and Anthony examined the other's bear. Anthony's had shaggy hair and was dressed in a four piece tuxedo with a bow tie and a University Of Texas Longhorns hat on. "Who did you make, Anthony?"

"I asked him," Will spoke up. "He just pointed at me. Then he put the hat on and pointed at himself." Will read the total price and gave the employee his credit card before turning around to us again.

"That's my boy." I picked him up and spun him around a little bit, so happy that he was already aware of college. "He's gonna be a Longhorn, yes he is. Kaylee made a princess." I said, just to add to the conversation, not aware what Kaylee would say next.

"Cause Daddy's princess." We all laughed and Will picked her up as we walked out of the store.

"I'm your princess? Am I your princess?" He touched their faces very closely, nuzzling his head in her neck. She laughed vibrantly and placed her tiny hands on his face, trying to push him away. "You're my princess." He kissed her cheek as she laughed from his actions and his smile was ear to ear. He told me that her laugh reminded him of mine and that my laugh was his second favorite sound in the world.

_"What is your favorite sound then?" I trailed my hand from his shoulder to his abs to tickle him with the feeling of my nails running across his hard hours at the gym. He breathed in deeply and I knew he wanted my hands to go lower as this was one of our rendezvous where we spent the entire time tangled in each other's limbs, covered by the bed sheet. _

_"The sound you make when I make you cum for me." He said breathlessly but confident and moved his hand from my knee to twist my nipple between his fingers. I moaned and threw my head back, exposing my neck to his lips that I knew would be adoring me with kisses any second now. "And that's my third favorite sound..."_


	12. Consternation

**A/N: Please review. I've had _such_ a bad weekend, added on top of my own, constant personal issues, and it would really make me smile to wake up and see lots of reviews in my inbox. _Plus_ the fact that I had to squeeze this out like that last bit of mayonnaise from the container should be viable for some brownie points. Thank you to everyone who usually reviews, my amazing beta, and those of you who favorite and follow the story. It really counts, guys. :)**

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Will loved when I breast fed. He wouldn't say anything, to avoid treating me like an object, but I could see it in his face. Still, I was becoming impatient. Anthony would only very rarely want to and I was concerned that he wasn't getting the nutrients he needed. Will picked his head up from the book, letting me see how adorable and handsome he looked with his reading glasses. "It says that there's no difference between breast milk and store bought." He peered at the page from under the rim of his glasses. "And you could pump the milk."

"Does it say anything about damaging the relationship we have?" I asked as I pulled my shirt up and walked across the small room to put Kaylee in her crib with her new bear. I turned around to face him, leaning slightly against the rails of the crib. I knew I looked like a mistress and that he couldn't deny whenever I looked this way.

"Umm, n-no." He finally looked up and his breath caught in his throat, and I heard the mix of a moan and a growl release from his gorgeous mouth.

"Good," I sighed, relived. Honestly, I was scared that Anthony and I would have one of those broken relationships.

"Emma, I don't know what you're trying to accomplish here," He walked toward me slowly and his voice sounded confident yet his face was timid. "But you look damn sexy."

"Yeah?" I came to the conclusion a long time ago that I wouldn't feel I had lost any baby weight until the kids were older. The amount of time I took caring for them I barely had enough time for work much less to work out.

Will reached me and took my waist in his hands to pull me flush against him, and though it was like every other time, the passion felt renewed. He stared deeply into my eyes, peering into my soul that he discovered long ago. "You know Will, I have to watch them…" His lips fell to my neck and I moaned deep in my throat before pulling myself together. "It_ is_ my night."

"Can't we leave them be for one night?" He picked up his head and his eyes were full of longing for just one night alone with his wife, to show her how much he adored her. "Ever consider they don't sleep because they can feel us watching them?"

I laughed vibrantly and placed my hand on his chest as I walked past him into our bedroom to change. "Are you going to watch them or follow me?"

When he made it to the bedroom he found me laying on the bed in one of his shirts from high school that rode up past my panty line. My hip was a visible part of skin for him to train his eyes on, and soon he tore the panties down my leg. "Will..." I could not protest when his lips crashed down on mine and I moaned from his passion.

"I know," He mumbled into this kiss, "I just want to kiss you," His hands traveled from my hip to cup my face and what little resolve I had melted under his gaze. "Show you how I love you, all that sappy stuff." I pulled his face down to kiss him hungrily and slipped my tongue through his lips easily. We kissed for the longest time that our attention to each other slowly slipped from aggressively attentive to languorous caresses.

It was when Will's fingers found their way to the spot between my thighs that I pushed him off and slid to the edge of the bed. "Will, I'm not..." I began to say 'ready', since my period should come any second now, but chose against it. "...in the mood." I didn't have to beg for his approval because occasionally he wouldn't be in the mood either, after he's had a long day of rehearsals and the thought of sex makes him groan because of all the work involved.

I found my panties at the foot of the bed and slipped them over my legs while Will fixed the bedspread. I burrowed next to him under the warm blanket and sighed after I placed a single butterfly kiss to the top of his chest. "I love you."

"I love you, too." He hitched my leg over his hip and moved my arm from around his collar bone to around his waist and tightened my grip.

Xxx

"Will?" My eyes were glossy and I could only see the edges of his body. He lay in the middle of the living room with Anthony resting his head in Will's neck and Kaylee resting on his stomach. They held their stuffed animals in their arms and a soft snore came from all three of them.

I only went out to get the mail but my eyes were too teary and my voice was too emotional for me to have found anything of happy value. "What is it?" I held the envelope out to him, taking off my coat and sitting down on the couch. He opened the envelope slowly, I could hear the paper rip. I didn't need to know what it had inside, only the return address was enough. "Emma..." He sighed as he read the front of the card.

"I know, Will. I know." I held my face in my hands and a few tears slipped down my cheeks as I laughed from the situation. "It took them a year and three months to get a funeral together. I guess they forgot."

Will sat next to me and pulled me under his arm and rubbed my back with his finger tips. "Are you going to go?"

"I don't want to. I already have closure. And who would take care of the kids?" Gratefully, Will understood the signs of me going into a panic attack and soothed me quickly. "I'll have to see who is going. If it's my father's side I won't go. I can't stand them. But..." I peered at him hopefully, wanting him to give in. "Either way I'll probably be asked to console everyone which I already do all day everyday."

"I think you should go, Emma."

"I know you do." I sighed and turned my head in his direction to give him a glare. I really didn't want to go. "But I don't want to."

"It would be really good for you. Like a reunion. And nobody likes reunions, so there's an excuse for everyone being sad." I gave him another glare but my lips rose up in a slight smile and he laughed.

The following Saturday Will stood in front of the bathroom mirror choosing between a bow tie and a skinny tie. I sat in bed in my pajamas and played with the hem of the blanket that was wrapped around me.

"Come on, I thought you were getting ready!" Will came out, choosing a bow tie, and slapped my knee. I looked at him in a daze, my eyes emotionless. He motioned for me to scoot over and sat down next to me. "What is it sweetie?"

"I really don't want to go, Will." I started sobbing and threw myself into his chest, keeping my body tense until his arms wrapped around me and pulled me to sit on his lap. "My brother isn't going. _My brother_."

"It's no surprise, your brother is an asshole." I picked my head up, surprised by his comment. He knew my brother, so he wasn't saying that just because he wasn't going to our mother's funeral.

"You think so?" I picked wiped the tears that now seemed in vain. I always knew he could make me feel better in the most unexpected ways. Whether it was taking care of the baby even when it's my turn, surprising me with gifts, dinner, or even his simple, everyday talk.

The plane ride seemed to go by in a flash, much quicker than the last time I flew up. Kaylee spent time watching a tv show on Will's laptop in the seat behind me where she sat with Will and I surprised Anthony with new toys for the ride. He was so preoccupied that Will had to calm him down when I put the ABC blocks in the front of my backpack. He keeled over and took Anthony's shoulders in his hands and looked in his eyes though he refused to look back.

"Tony...Tony..." After being frustrated for too long Will took his face and forced Anthony to look at him, with his cheeks smushed between his fathers hands and his eyes longing to be looking somewhere else. "Look, Mommy took your toys because play time is over...Tony," Anthony was restless and began to wiggle in every direction. "I'll let you go when you understand that play time is over. Do you?" Anthony took a few moments to look at his father, finally in his eyes, and nodded silently. Will immediately released his face, kissed his head, and told him he was a good boy.

I carried him off the plane, and we got a taxi to my father's house. My brother was there, but claiming he wasn't staying to go to the small funeral. "Then you should get out of here," Will said between gritted teeth and balled his hands into fists without realizing he was doing so. I ushered him outside the kitchen where we all stood drinking beer.

"Will, you have to control yourself. What's wrong? Is it because," I dropped my voice as my sister in law passed us to use the restroom. "I wouldn't let you make love to me the other night?"

"No, of course not." Will refused to look at my face, and I hoped that it was a hereditary thing he learned from his father and somehow already taught his son.

"Are you angry at Tony and taking it out on my brother?" Typically, I called Anthony by his full name, but I couldn't deny how cute 'Tony' sounded.

"I guess a little bit. And that he chooses not to go to the funeral but has the balls to show up at his father's house." Will smiled when my sister in law walked by, and I held back a chuckle because of what I knew she was thinking of my husband.

I cupped Will's face and looked in his eyes longingly. "Don't let it bother you, okay?" I stood on my tip toes to kiss all across his face, manipulating it in my hands. "I'm not, and you shouldn't, okay honey?" He nodded and we walked back to the kitchen. Will apologized to my brother and they shared a manly handshake of truce.

It was a year and a half until the funeral of my mother was brought up again. Will was reading the newspaper at the breakfast table, occasionally feeding Kaylee a spoon full of baby food when she failed to pick up the utensil and began crying. Anthony was still sleeping. Will and I had to leave for work soon. Me first, then him a few hours later.

"You know, all your brother talked about was his motorcycle, and how it made him feel like such a man." Will picked up the spoon from the ground and put it in the dish pan, the first one of the day, and got out another to give to Kaylee. He dipped the spoon in the almost empty jar of applesauce and made a plane sound when the spoon curved toward her mouth, also making her move to catch where she thought it was going.

"You said it yourself, he's stupid." I sometimes had nightmares about my mother's funeral, and they always seemed to start when I sat in Will's lap and he told me my brother was an asshole. Then everything began to go downhill. "And you're not getting a motorcycle." I turned from my spot making eggs in front of the stove to smile at him sweetly, assuming the conversation was over, and that this urge to get a motorcycle would dissipate as he got more involved in work and us, his family, growing and changing.

I could not be more wrong if I tried.


	13. Heartbeat

**A/N: Errrrgh it doesn't seem like three full weeks since I've updated. I think more as two update opportunities I've missed. Anyhow, I hope everyone is still sticking with this story. It's been kind of a crazy few weeks, but this chapter is awesome. Probably one of my favorites. I had real issues getting it started however, and that's why it took so long. Not to mention day to day stress because of school, but I hope you enjoy and please review, because I need those like I need food tomorrow, not even kidding.**

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In reality, everything will leave you. Friends, family, pets, technology, good times, hobbies, etc. The only thing that won't leave you, if you're confident enough in it, is your view of yourself. Your morals, your right and wrong.

The great paradox is; you can't find yourself without losing yourself. While you lose yourself, you feel confused and pained, but you learn the greatest lessons. You change your morals or find evidence to back them up. You realize how people work and the types of people. During this time, you have to be a wallflower; an observer and a thinker, or the transition won't go through correctly. You'll emerge the same person as before.

As always, pros and cons. Pros; You never had to go through the feelings and the moods. Cons; Your thoughts are mundane and limited. Whereas going through the pain leaves you with a deeper understanding of the basis for every action and thought anyone makes and your thoughts are limit_less._

As the kids grew up, Will and I started really using the house to our advantage. While they were babies we had them share a guest room we had but now that they're two and a half years old they've been in separate rooms for a year. Will and I had a long discussion about that. Something so mundane, but it meant a lot to us. I thought they should share a room so they could protect each other. Will thought they should be separate to learn how to protect _themselves_. He won. I don't want my kids to be dependent because I know it has terrible side effects.

To help decrease separation anxiety on the first day of school in three years, Will and I put Kaylee and Anthony in a daycare. We researched for what felt like half a year (just two months in reality) good daycares nearby. Anthony was recently further assumed of being somewhere in the Autistic spectrum and we needed to make sure that he would be treated correctly.

The daycare was a double blow not just because it gave us time to relax, but it also gave us typically premature evidence about Anthony's condition. The doctor said to find a daycare that will truly watch them so we can have an accurate report of how Anthony interacts with other children, since that is the main signal of Autism. Again the doctor reassured us that it's possible he's just incredibly shy even with people he trusts and is being late to develop social skills, which is also quite typical of a 'normal and healthy' child.

I walked through the back door, right into the mess Will made of the kitchen. "Oh my God." I put my bag down on the counter and put my coat on top of it. Screams of my official name for two and a half years pierced through my ears, straight to the pain I felt pulsating against my forehead. I covered the spot with my fingers, as if that would protect me.

"Tell Mommy what happened, Anthony." At every chance we got, we promoted Anthony to tell us when something happened. We dreaded the idea that he wouldn't tell us about mean kids teasing him, or a girl kissing him, and hoped to show him we were safe. Kaylee stared at Anthony for a bit, before answering for him. We were oblivious to her protection, however, and reprimanded her for answering a question we didn't ask her.

Will was experiencing a craving for a milkshake. He tried to brush it off as something that would only last for a few seconds or a minute. When the allotted time was over, he found himself still craving the sweet treat. It was Saturday so the kids were home, in the backyard playing. He sat in a comfortable lawn chair as he watched them frolic about happily, without a care in the world. He could only hope they stayed like that. When the craving got too loud to ignore, he called the kids over and kissed each of their cheeks before he allowed them both to climb on his back as he carried them through the sliding glass door into the kitchen. He placed them both on top of the counter and kissed their temple, feeling extremely affectionate today. Getting out the needed ingredients, he let Kaylee pour milk in the blender and Anthony add pre-cut fruit.

"Daddy what are we making?" Kaylee asked as she carefully put the glass behind her.

"A milkshake, baby girl." He ruffled her hair as his hand reached behind her to grab the glass and place it near the sink as a reminder to load it into the dishwasher. Anthony sat next to her, silent, but attentive. "A milkshake, yeah buddy?" He asked his son, stopping everything he was doing to look him in the eyes. Anthony let his head drop, refusing yet again to maintain eye contact. His hair was not near long enough to cover his eyes, but Will knew Anthony would allow it. It broke his heart, and he wanted to lift his chin and look deep into his eyes, clarifying that everything would be okay. He knew from experience that doing so would only result in him fidgeting in every which direction, whining and possibly crying softly until who was holding him let him go.

"Okay, now we press this button," His finger hovered over the 'blend' button and he looked at Kaylee as he explained. "And in a little bit we'll have milkshakes." He pressed the button, and the loud noise engulfed the room as milk and fruit combined inside the blender. Will watched and stopped the action when he thought it was creamy enough. He poured some into a glass and tasted it. Shaking his head, he poured it back in the blender and started it. Smoothie went flying in every direction, as Will forgot to reapply the top. Kaylee and Anthony giggled as Will quickly turned the machine off and chuckled with them. Smoothie pieces dripped from Anthony's head, onto the collar of his shirt and clung to Kaylee's hair. Most likely Will's curls as well.

He heard the sound of a car pull into the driveway, and the garage door open. "Mommy's home." He smiled brightly, and put his children on the floor. Will shook his head like a dog, hoping to relieve any chunks from his curls and his children laughed. "Go clean up." He ushered them from the kitchen and looked around the room, judging how big of a fit I would throw. I sat in the car a minute after I parked to finish listening to a song on the radio. The kids came back clean and Will handed them each a milkshake before I came through the door and they screamed my name.

Will tried desperately to keep me calm, but the events of the day had been increasingly worse, and coming home to a large mess was not something I was expecting. "Darling, what happened?" He set the kids up with DVDs of Disney movies from the 90's and pulled me against him in our bedroom upstairs, starting to remove my clothing. I removed his in return until he was naked but for his boxers. Although he was playing the position of stay at home mom today, he still dressed in a loose polo shirt, khakis and loafers, claiming he felt unproductive if he stayed in pajamas all day.

My breath hitched when his warm and ever so nimble fingers lay on the clasp of my bra, releasing it with expertise. My bra hung loosely between us and he ran his finger tips down my back and up my sides before he pulled away slightly to kiss my forehead. We both knew the kids could be at the door any minute but that failed to stop what we did next. Will dropped to his knees, I heard a loud bang and a groan and felt his head against my hip, so close to the warmth between my thighs. I gripped his curls roughly between my fingers and unintentionally pulled him closer. He submitted and groaned again because how ever often he was romantic and sweet, he loved being rough and dirty.

My eyes closed and I let out a strangled breath, slightly ashamed at how aroused I already was. Will turned his head and took my hand in his, proceeding to kiss each one of my fingers at their joints, and then a single kiss to my palm. My eyes welt up as he did this and while moving to my right hand he looked up at me and I saw his eyes, glossy with concern for me. My left hand engrossed my fingers in his curls lovingly, scratching his scalp and practically making him purr. After he kissed all across my hands I felt him grab my hips and pull me towards him. His teeth grazed the waistband of my cotton panties and I moaned so loudly Will had to hang his head and compose himself before continuing. I doubt he actually composed himself however, because hanging his head only further increased his knowledge of where he was on my body. I felt his strangled breathing on my lower abdomen, and though I didn't think I was in the mood for sex, Will was making me extremely aroused for him.

His teeth took hold of my panties again, and pulled them down my legs. I kicked them off somewhere to the side and peered down at him, wondering what was next. He sat Indian style on the floor and pulled me into his lap, earning a light scream and giggles that transformed into low moans as he sucked on my neck. He picked me up easily and carried me to the dresser, riffled through his drawer for something appropriate for me to wear. He settled on his 'lucky' superman boxers and a gray tee. He slid them over me, paying extreme attention to my thighs and carried me to the bed, unlocking the door on the way. We cuddled on the bed and Will whispered sweet things in my ear as he nibbled and kissed and soon we were joined by our dog Hoppy, following the kids in age by just a few months. Most likely noticing my mood he jumped in my lap and nuzzled his head there.

"Hey!" Will gently protested. "That's my spot!" Hoppy lifted his head as if he got hit and Will laughed and kissed his head, playing with his ears. I smoothed his coat and he relaxed again. It felt like ages since we spoke again, and Will's voice was tentative when he began. "Tell me about your day sweetie. Why were you so stressed when you came home?"

I sighed deeply. I had a long day full of people with mental instabilities, and it continued to break my heart everyday. "I don't know, Will.."

"Honey," He took me deeper into his arms, forcing Hoppy to find a new place to bury himself. "I want to know. It's a big part of your life and I am too. Something is clearly bothering you, and I as your husband should be able to fix it. So let me."

"I just..." I took a deep breath and looked at our dog in my lap, sorting through my thoughts and choosing what he wanted to know. "Sometimes I feel like I can't help these people. They tell me all their problems and I'm dumbfound. I don't know how they managed to survive and I want to help them, I really do," I looked at Will, my eyes shinning with helplessness that reflected in his green orbs of concern. "I just don't know how. It's my job, Will and I don't know how to do it." I started sobbing into his chest with my ragged breathing and gripped at the air where a shirt would be if he had one. His arms tightened around me and forced my hands to come in contact with my chest and the feeling of my heart beating erratically and I gripped the shirt I was wearing as if it was on his chest.

"Do you ever think of taking a break?" He quietly said into my hair. I could feel the nervousness in his voice and my heart went out to him until I heard the rest of his sentence. "Maybe change fields. You could be a really good screenwriter, Emma."

I pulled back with a shocked expression, my lips forming an 'o' before I cleared my throat. "I love my job, Will."

"I know you do, sweetie. But it's killing you." He rubbed my back, probably trying to get me to relax not only into his arms, but into his suggestion.

I turned to face him and my eyes were ablaze with frustration. "And being a screenwriter is going to be so easy. There won't be any stress involved in that. Genius idea, Will. I'll start tomorrow." I spat my remark at him, crossed my arms and shrugged his arm from my shoulder.

"I never said that, Emma." He retorted calmly, and I felt my anger build because he wasn't angry and yelling back at me. "I just said you should take a break and see what else is out there for you." I looked in his eyes, and hated myself when I saw the look of true care in his eyes. "You could always give the scripts to Evan and Victoria. They're your friends, and they're in the business."

"I don't need to you tell me what I should do with my life, Will. You're my husband, but you don't control me." I got up and changed into loose jeans but I kept his shirt, only adding a bra and slipping on some cheap house shoes. "I can think for myself. If my job drives me crazy, then it happens. But I _will_ do what I want to. I appreciate your concern and I love you, but it's still my life."

I left the house and headed to the beach. I don't know why, I have a love/hate relationship with the beach. But it was walking distance from the house (though I drove) and I felt drawn to it. As if I needed to sit on the beach, watch the waves roll in and the sun set as I thought about the conversation I had with Will.

And that's what I did.

_20,000 leagues away, catch up to you on the same day  
Travel at the speed of light, thinking the same thought at the same time.  
Heart beats at a steady pace, I'll let the rhythm show me the way  
No one can find us here, fade out and disappear._

The sun began setting I started thinking about going home. I hoped Will was putting the kids to bed and noticed the note I left that said where I was. "Beautiful, isn't it?" I heard that voice so many times, in so many different ways, but I wasn't expecting it and it scared me. I turned around almost completely and automatically, coming into direct vision of his legs dressed also in jeans and his cheap house shoes on his feet. He sat down next to me and I felt extremely nervous and involuntarily scooted slightly away from him. Would he argue with me? Would he yell? How did he get here? What would he ask? Calming my anxiety, I took a deep breath as I ran my palms down the legs of my jeans and answered his question.

"Breath taking." He leaned back on the palms of his hands and sighed as he crossed his legs over each other.

_If my red eyes don't see you anymore  
And I can't hear you through the white noise,_

"I wasn't trying to offend you earlier. You know I only want the best for you." I looked at him, my eyes already glossed with tears. "I hate seeing you so in pain." He looked at me and I could see the way his curls were disheveled and how the collar of his polo hung off his shoulders that Kaylee refused to let him go before he came here to find me. "I feel useless."

I chose not to answer him and slip my hand under his, intertwining our fingers. I brought our hands to my lips and kissed them gently, showing him a tiny smile. He pulled me into his lap quickly and kissed my cheek, rocking us back and forth. We stayed like that for a long time, and a while after the sunset he picked me up without warning and carried me to my car. "You walked?" I asked as he slipped into the passenger seat.

"I run here and back every morning, so yeah. I didn't see a reason not to." He smiled tentatively, knowing the fears that prompted me to bring the car. I didn't say anything about what could have happened to him because I trusted him. He wouldn't do anything that purposefully made me angry. Gratefully, the kids were fast asleep when we got home, allowing us to spend the entire night making love.

_Just send your heartbeat  
Out to the blue ocean floor  
Where they'll find us no more  
On that blue ocean floor._


	14. Counting Stars

**A/N: I didn't have this beta'd and I really didn't feel like reading it over myself since I've been in a blah mood all day anyway so I apologize for spelling errors.**

I had a dream the other night. About how we only get one life.  
Woke me up right after two. I stayed awake and stared at you.  
So I wouldn't lose my mind.

Last night I think I drank too much. Call it our temporary crutch. With broken words I tried to say, "Honey, don't you be afraid. If we got nothing, we got us."

_My mother sat across from me in a room that was all white. The walls were white, the floors were white, and even the places that we sat were white. Her feet dangled back and forth from the floor, which was strange, because my mother was not that short. She wore a white gown as if she was in the hospital. This could be the hospital. I started to look around, but then I could only see her face and how she looked down at her fingers mingling with each other, taking a breath and looking at me. "Well, Emma. I don't know what to tell you. You only get one life. You only die once. You have to make it matter. However that is, you have to go to sleep at night knowing you can stand by everything you did. If you can't, that's when you know you did something wrong." _

I shot out of bed in a hot sweat. I put my hand over my heart to see if it was actually beating as fast as I felt it. _Yup_. I looked at Will beside me, and I only felt my panic rising. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing. Inhaling deeply I snuggled under Will's arm, breathing in his scent, grateful I put his shirt on before we both collapsed and I stared at him. I thought I wouldn't I wouldn't sleep for the rest of the night, but smelling in his scent and remembering everything we went through, together, I woke up when he pulled me on him.

"Hey beautiful." His fingers trailed on my hip bone and I hid my face in his neck. It was a while until I responded.

"Good morning handsome." My body fell against him as I relaxed and I wrapped my arms around his neck. "What are we doing today?" Will was much better at remembering our schedule than I.

"It's the kids first day of preschool." He kissed my cheek and across my face and pulled back to look at me.

I rubbed my face with my palms, hoping to be awoken. "Right. That's today?" I peered at him quizzically, my jaw slacked as I had not woken up yet.

He laughed, a wonderful sound in my half asleep mind. "Yes honey." His hands ran through my hair, undoing some knots that formed overnight, and down to my back. "I know what you need. I'll get the coffee started." He flipped me over and peppered my face with kisses again before wrapping me in blankets and walking downstairs.

I fell asleep. I wrapped myself in the blanket and stumbled downstairs. "Well, look who's up!" Will pointed to me and Anthony and Kaylee turned around quickly, jumping the distance from their chairs to attack my legs.

"Daddy said you were dead." Kaylee mumbled into the fabric on my legs and I felt Anthony nod.

Will protested, throwing his hands up in defense. "All I said was you were dead to the world." He walked around and placed a kiss to my temple before guiding me to the table and handing me a plate full of food.

"Daddy is going to be a chef when he grows up." Kaylee told me, eating a forkful of scrambled eggs.

"Well he has a long time until he grows up." I shot Will a playful glare, he winked at me as he gave me a cup of coffee and refilled the kids glasses of orange juice.

I had Will carry the kids into daycare. I knew if they clung to my leg, I would give in within a second. I made a beeline to the front desk to alert the management of Anthony's possible condition, and that was the only reason we put them in daycare.

"Yes mam'm, I understand completely. We have lots of parents coming here early, worried about their children." Tom assured me, placing his hand on my shoulder. I shivered internally. I felt gross, not having a very normal morning. I could almost feel Will's adorably possesive eyes zoning into Tom's hand on my shoulder and I grinned to myself. "We take very good care of our children. And…our adults." He winked playfully at me, and I laughed genuinely. Something about him told me Will had no reason to feel possesive.

Tom left to retrive some final paperwork and I turned around to Will. I waved cutely at him, smiling and telling him to stop Anthony from eating a fistful of sand. I giggled as I watched Will scramble into the playpen, getting sand on the knees of his jeans and in the creases of his palms. My eyes searched for Kaylee, finding her the center of attention in a plastic house. She moved around the kitchen with ease, and for a moment I thought _she_ would be the one cooking as she grew up. My moment was broken when Tom tapped me on the shoulder, dragging another young man behind him. I wasn't trying to look, but while signing on the dotted line, I noticed their hands intertwined. The young man had to answer a call as I called Will over to sign next to my name and I rubbed his arm and scratched his back while he was near.

"Alright! You guys are all set." Tom shook each of our hands and we started leaving the daycare.

"You know," Will started as we listened for the beep of our car. "I think he might be gay." I felt him cock his eyebrow at me, waiting to judge my response. I giggled and slid into the passenger seat.

"What time will we pick up the kids?" I asked, wondering how much time we had, as Will undressed to his boxers and undershirt.

"Three."

"Oh." I pulled his shirt over my head, too lazy to change before we left, and shimmed my shorts off. "That's as late as high school."

"They're going to a play." Will tilted my head toward him and kissed me passionately, laying my head against the pillow. My chest heaved from anticipation, and I stared at him from inbetween my breasts. He picked his head up from my gratefully flat stomach and crawled over me. He picked his head up from my gratefully flat stomach and crawled over me. He cupped my face in his hands and gazed at me for a few moments, making my heart beat out of my chest, and kissed me again. This was planned, so it was a tiny bit awkward and I giggled at the thought.

"I love you." He whispered against my neck and I pulled him closer to me, feeling his erection against my core I shivered. "And I'm so happy."

I felt his eyes well up and I pulled his head up. "Hey, hey." I peered into his eyes lovingly. "Sweetie, hey. I love you too." My hand trailed down his jaw and I took his chin between my forefinger and thumb. "I've never been happier than I am with you. And our family...It's so," I started to cry now, out of pure happiness and stopped trying to talk, because I knew I could express better if I kissed him. I tilted my head to slip my tongue between his lips and he accepted graciously.

I explored his mouth like I never had, feeling the need to be as close to him as possible. His tongue battled with mine, and I eventually let him win dominance, sinking further into the pillow below me. I moaned softly when his fingers made circles on the inside of my thigh and I blushed. He smirked and broke from me to suck where his fingers were. I shut my eyes tightly and gripped his curls. He loved when I made sounds for him, and I groaned as I let my hips jerk into his ministrations.

His lips found their way to the clasp of my bra, which he undid quickly. I pushed the upper half of my body to him, our chests ramming against each other's, his nipples grazing mine and I took his head in my hand and pulled him down to kiss me again. My hand trailed down to his chest, pushing him to the bed and I straddled his hips. Peering down at him, I lifted my hips and pulled the tank top from his body. "I don't know why you're so ashamed. You're fucking amazing." The vulgar slang slid off my tongue before he captured it with his teeth, smirking at me as he bit gently.

I hit my forehead against the top of his, and he released my tongue so I could adore his torso with my mouth. My nails teased the skin of his hips from under his boxers and I pulled them off with force. I rubbed myself against his open erection, earning a groan from both of us. Before I could get out of control, as Will knew I would, he held my hips and lifted me slightly to remove my panties. He flipped us over and squeezed my hips as he slipped in slowly, and I intentionally tightened around him.

He growled and looked at me lustfully, and for a moment I was fearful of what he would do, mostly because I would submit to /anything/ he wanted. But he didn't do anything, only start moving hastily inside me. "Wait for me.." I whined impatiently. I wanted to move with him. I wanted to close my eyes and feel completely connected to him in a way we could only achieve in this manner. If he didn't let me adjust, he would just be using me. I don't like being used.

His eyes were closed, he still held my hips, and was focusing on his thrusts. I looped my arm around his neck to tangle in his curls, trying to keep up the best I could. My hand slipped to his chest and I quickly pushed him down, gaining hold of his hips as he lost hold of mine.

"Oh, how the tables have changed, Will Schuester." I sucked on his neck in between speaking, moving to bite his earlobe roughly as I said his name.

"Fuck," He said, giving up his control and letting me take it. I ground my hips in a circle into his, peering deeply into his eyes. "You're such a goddamn tease." He opened his previously shut tight eyes, and I could see the green color being darkened with lust. "I love it."

I kissed him then, so he would shut up. Nine out of ten times it was better when we didn't talk, and now was not one of those times when it would be okay. I swirled his tongue around mine in maddening patterns, in such creative ways I had never done before. My hands that held his hips moved to his waist, a place I loved on him. He was so sensitive there, being one of few that were still ticklish. I loved touching him there since he would always assume I was going to tickle him and he would whine in the cutest way and hold both of my hands and pull me under his arm.

I closed my eyes and moaned at us, fitting together so wonderfully. Everything was silent but for our moans and approvals, thinking this was the best chorus of sounds in the world.

Will grabbed my ass when he was close. He stopped laying hickeys on my neck and knowing how powerful his orgasm would be, kept me on top of him. "Please..." He begged with himself and me, and I thrust into him again, feeling close myself.

"Yes," I said, one of those things that just happen to escape your mouth when you feel close to releasing, just sounding correct in the situation.

"Baby. Come on darling. Please." His last word was drawn out, and I squeezed him unintentionally as I spilled onto him, and he into me. I caught my breath against his chest, feeling at peace with the world.

We repeated the process until we got hungry in which we closed all the blinds on our windows and made lunch naked, bringing dessert back to the bedroom and starting the process over again. And finally, when the clock read 3:00, I bit Will's shoulder as he came above me and we dressed lazily. The kids talked about the amazing play they saw, and pondered out loud why their Daddy wasn't in it. Kaylee started a one sided conversation with Anthony and we zoned out, in our own memories of how we spent the day. We both smiled unconsciously.

We put some music on in the living room, reopening the curtains and gave the kids some drawing materials. As we watched our family from our place on the couch, I knew this moment would be added to my list of amazing feelings.


	15. Acceptance

**AN: Let me say, I am ****_so so so so _****sorry for the lack of updates. I always feel really bad when I go more than 2 weeks without updating, and I wish I could help it. If you're a writer as well you know that sometimes, you just can't get yourself to write. It's like trying to fall asleep. You can't ****_make _****yourself fall asleep. You have to lie in bed and wait for sleep to come to you. From the bottom of my heart, I am truly sorry for the lack of updates (as some of you might know, school is ending which always brings lots of stress and even more this year for other reasons I will choose not to divulge in) and I hope none of you have given up on the story because then I would too.**

**Note that Anthony and Kaylee are about to be five years old in this chapter. I'm sorry for any confusion with the age or how many years have past, I get mixed up with that too. Sometimes I don't realize I say they're one age in one paragraph and another in the next paragraph. My ideas are scattered all over the place. Guess I should take more time to re-read and fix those things, though that is a beta's job...Nonetheless I hope you enjoy and review!**

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"What is this block Anthony?" He kept stacking blocks, barely paying attention to me. "Anthony." I held his hands and Anthony whimpered and looked up at me. "What is this block?" He wiggled out of my hands and returned to his stack.

"How's it going Em?" Will placed his old school bag on the floor and kissed my head before sitting down next to me. "Oh." His question was answered when he saw Anthony stacking the blocks.

"Anthony, buddy," He sighed and moved near him. He lifted him into his arms and he started to softly scream. Will ran through his blonde hair and kissed his cheek. "Why don't you answer Mommy?" He just shook his head and reached for his stack.

"You like these blocks so much?" Will reached and took one off the top and held it just out of Anthony's reach. "Tell me what this is and we'll have your favorite dinner."

"Will," I reprimanded softly, warning him not to push Anthony too far.

"I know Em." Turning back to Anthony he questioned him. "Is it an airplane?" Will recreated the sound airplanes made on the tv shows he watched during the morning. I went to the kids room to get Kaylee. "Is it a moo cow? It is a fish?" Anthony was still unresponsive.

I called for them as I put dinner on the table and we ate in silence until Will spoke up. "I think they're due for their check up, don't you?" He held his fork in perfect suspension, with two pieces of macaroni dripping with cheese as his hostage. He cocked his eyebrow as to give me the message. He couldn't wait until bed time to talk about this freely.

"Yes, I do."

x

The day Anthony was diagnosed with Autism was the second worst day of my life. The first would happen a few years from now, and the third even later than that.

I took the kids to the doctor for a regular check up the day after their fourth birthday. We've had this doctor since we moved here and he knows everything about my worries for Anthony, so the Austim check was normal. He bit his lip as he looked at Anthony's chart and sighed. "The results came back positive." I could not leave the kids alone so I had to choke a sob and compose myself before thanking the doctor and driving home. Will had practice for his new show, and wouldn't be home until 5. I set the kids up with some games and played with them though distant and trying not to cry. I made a quick dinner again and Will came home a few minutes before dinner time. We bathed and dressed the kids for bed, hosting them up so they could reach the sink. When I told Will that night I couldn't help but let out the tears I kept hostage for the entirety of the day. He cried too, but at my tears. He was a lot more optimistic than I.

He had to leave very early Saturday morning, apologizing and kissing me many times. I sprayed his cologne on my shirt and in our bed to smell him when I snuggled under the blankets and cried. I do not know how long I stayed there but the under lid of my eye burned.

"Mommy?" Kaylee's sweet voice bounced of the walls of my room from where she entered through the doorway. "What's wrong Mommy? Did Daddy put your special cleaning stuff in the wrong spot?" She climbed on the bed, concern written in paint across her face. "I cleaned up all my toys last night…" She said to herself and she bit her nail, trying to think of anything that could upset me enough. I looked at her, so wrapped up in fixing me, my tiny baby, consoling me at such a young age she would not be able to grasp the emotional downfalls I have been through. But she didn't know that, and she tried with her entire heart to fix me in the best way possible.

"I'm just…" I debated telling her. She was only four. She shouldn't have to see me like this. Clean yourself up and offer to play Barbies with her. No, she should know or she'll have nightmares of finding you crying and she won't tell you because she'll think that's why you were crying.

My brain fought with itself before I managed to shut it off. "Sad. I'm sad that your brother has difficulties talking to me and Daddy."

"Don't you know why Mommy?" She stared at me quizzically and I shook my head, lost. She leaned back a bit, ready to inform me. "In everyone's brain there's a group of smart people who work all day to make us work." I knew she meant 'function', but she was so young it would be pointless to correct her. "But in Antny's brain, his talking people went to this meeting with the smart people and never came back. So now he's really smart, but he can't talk to real people easily." I started crying again at that because it was so adorable how she explained it and so true at the same time. She jumped and came closer. "What's wrong Mommy? Did I say something bad? Do you need to get the soap and wash my mouth?" I laughed and pulled Kaylee into my side, hosting her and squeezing her affectionately before laying her down in front of me.

I lifted her shirt and held my breath as I put my lips on her stomach and breathed out, making a farting sound. "Zerbert zerbert zerbet!" I cooed as I repeated the process and her giggles filled my ears. I saw this once on the Cosby Show when I was pregnant with them and Will was building the house and I had nothing to do. It worked incredibly well.

When I woke up without Will's arms around me, I figured he had another early practice with the rest of the cast. Broadway was a killer. Caught in this routine, I never imagined what would happen. He came out of the bathroom, dressed in boxers. "I hear Italy is a beaut this time of year."

"Yeah?" I flipped over to face him. "And what are you going to do about it?" I smirked at him, and tossed hair over my shoulder.

"Well…" He kneeled next to me, and peered into my face for moments before he found his voice again. "Nothing about Italy. But something about Corpus." He was speaking of the strip of beach further northeast than we.

"Oh?" My eyebrow shot up, and I cocked my eye toward him. "And what is that about?"

He picked me up quickly, producing a squeak of resistance. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him as close as possible to my chest. Surprisingly, he slid me down to kiss my lips instead of teasing my breasts, which surrounded his precious face. He kissed me a few times in a row, only allowing seconds to catch our breath before the kisses got deeper and more loving. I bit his bottom lip and grabbed his ass, making him lose his balance and stumble to the wall behind us. He slid down and I held my legs tighter around him and giggled. "A little jumpy?" I teased him and ran my fingers across his hair.

"Getting there." He leaned forward and bit my lip, making me moan. I loved when he bit or sucked on my lip, and he was obsessed with doing so. "Okay sweetheart," He said in between kisses, "We have to get a move on…" I sucked on his neck, making the word 'on' turn into a moan.

"What about the kids?" I felt a sudden surge of panic. How were we to have a romantic getaway with two small children tagging along?

"Victoria already came over and got them. She wants them to bond with Robbie." Robbie was a few years younger than Anthony and Kaylee. We knew how important playing with other children was to development and allowed our children to go to their house often.

"Oh," I remarked with surprise at the depth of Will's plan. "Well it looks like you have everything under control then." I smirked at Will and ran my fingertips up his arm, making him shiver and hit his back against the wall.

"So, why are we eloping to Galveston for the week?" I pondered aloud as we drove across the bridge to the island. It was a gorgeous day. The sun was shinning and it wasn't too hot, there wasn't a cloud in the sky and the waters looked perfect from over the bridge.

"You've been so stressed about Anthony that I wanted to take your mind off of everything. Dedicate time to accepting and building a plan to work with Anthony's austism." I flashed back to the many times he caught me crying and shaking and would have to calm me down over the past week.

"Oh, Will. You're so sweet." I gave his hand a squeeze and kissed his cheek, catching his blush from the mirror.

Will took me to this great massage place. They played relaxing music overhead and used scented oils specified for my favorite smells. They didn't have one that smelled like Will...but under the circumstances I let it slide. I don't know how long I stayed there, but when I got up my legs were wobbly like I forgot how to use them. Will proceeded to take me to the beach. He and I walked along the jetties hand in hand, fearing that one of us might slip. Will picked me up and threw me over his shoulder, carrying me the rest of the way and putting me down just as a big wave came and soaked both of us.

"I'm going to kill you." I said as my straight hair cascaded along my face and I gave him a dirty look from underneath the mop-like strands.

"No you won't." Will puffed his chest outward and put his fists on his waist.

"You're right." I giggled and wrapped my arms around him, pulling him close to let our soaking wet bodies create that weird squishing sound. Will turned on the tinted windows of our car and put towels in the back seat. He ran his fingers through my damp hair and told me I still looked beautiful. I told him he didn't have to shoot out compliments to get in my pants anymore. He laughed and began to undo the buttons of my jeans. "Whoa, hey, just because you don't need to say empty compliments doesn't mean romance is off the table." He laughed again and cupped my face.

"Em...Mrs. Schuester...Can I pretty please take your clothes off so I can make love to you?" He stuck his bottom lip out and extended the size of his eyes to produce a puppy face.

I pretended to ponder this option for a long time before nodding my head. He leaned in to kiss me automatically, not bothering to wait until I was done nodding my head. After we made love in the car and dressed each other we went to lunch at _Joe's Crab Shack_, and back to the hotel.

For about three days this pattern continued, only with different activities. One being a very expensive (compared to what we had been paying for everything else) trip to _Paradise Pier_. I sighed as we drove home, back to our hectic lifes. Back to Will waking up at 5:30 am for practice and not getting home until 6 or 7 and using the techniques we found to work with Anthony. As I stared out the window, watching our getaway get away, I wondered how long it would be until I was that relaxed again.


	16. Icebergs

**A/N: Hey guys! I want to thank you for all the sweet reviews :) Please keep them coming! I love seeing people react to my stuff. I know on twitter I said Thursday or Friday but I let the pressure get to me far too often, producing writers block. My boyfriend actually had to stop me from hitting my forehead with things because I was so disappointed in myself. Forgive me. Sorry if any honey bunnies are upset in this chapter. Forgive me again.**

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My hands, I realized, were sweaty. I rubbed them against the fabric of my jeans as I walked outside and placed a new cup of iced tea on the table between Will's rocking chair and mine. I found a refilled cup already sitting there. "Oh." I said almost under my breath, and sat next to him.

He didn't react at all, but kept reading his book. He seemed pretty close to the end so I didn't want to bother him. I sighed deeply and looked outward toward the backyard. Soon it would be covered in decorations and hidden presents for Anthony and Kaylee's fifth birthday party.

I noticed Hoppy was in his lap, and he was scratching the dog's fur. That seemed to be the most affection he gave recently. Nothing changed after we got back from Galveston, besides Will's mood. For a few days I thought Will was acting this way because he didn't get cast in the play he was putting so much work into lately. Then the guy who replaced him quit and they cast Will again. He was fine for two or three days after that, but then he stooped to that mood again.

One time Will told me he would be fine with us just cuddling and reading all day. If this was one of those days, I didn't get the memo. "I'm going to get the kids to bed." I took my and Will's empty glasses into the kitchen, sighing as I told the kids it was time for bed. I climbed in bed after I read Kaylee and Anthony a story and kissed their heads.

I was still sleeping peacefully when I heard Kaylee's sweet calling of my name. "Mommy?" I blinked a few times and looked around, realizing Will left already.

"Yes honey?" I sat up and scooted over so she could sit under my arm.

She bit her lip and played with her pretty dress before she answered me. I worried for her anxiety, but not as much because of her age. "I don't want to grow up. Can I be four another year?"

I pulled her into my lap, laughing genuinely into her hair. "What about Anthony?" I wondered aloud, since they were twins

"He can do whatever he wants." She responded so blatantly, throwing her arms up in a shrug, her little fingers straight as a ruler and one side of her mouth curved to the side.

I laughed again. "Sure honey. You can be four another year." She grinned and hopped from the room, smiling ear to ear.

I stood in the kitchen making eggs and writing a list for the kids birthday party. They went to Will's brothers so we could set up the party before their friends got here. Will came down the stairs to the kitchen, yawning and pulling a dryer sheet from the waistband of his sleeping pajamas. A 'hmph' sound escaped his lips as he stared at the culprit of his previous nights itchiness. I put the eggs on two plates and turned around.

"We need to talk." I placed my palms against the counter and slanted the lower part of my body outward, giving him a disapproved look.

"Can I have breakfast first?" He folded his hands in front of him as he waited. He was not amused.

"No." I stood exactly where I was and cocked my eyebrow at him, almost challenging him to do something. He sighed and slipped further in his seat. "What is wrong with you lately?" I sighed, bracing for his answer.

"You don't want to know." He put his head in his hands and ran them across his face. He sighed and looked at me with begging eyes. My heart softened immediately though I gazed at him disapprovingly.

"Yes I do." I sat down across from him, folding my hands in my lap. "You're my husband. I always want to know things about you."

He took a deep breath. I worried for a moment. "I've been experiencing feelings of inadequacy." He sighed again, deeper this time. "When we were at Galveston every single man looked at you." He stuck his hands up and shook them along with his head, rebutting any false ideas. "Not that I have a problem with that because I know you're mine but…It was a little disheartening that no one looked at me the way they looked at you." I was silent and prompted Will to go on. "I haven't bought a motorcycle because I respect your wishes but Emma, I think it can really help." He hung his head in his hands again. "This is so stupid."

I walked over and sat next to him, running his back. "It's not stupid."

"Maybe I'm going through a midlife crisis." He rubbed his face again but I took his hands to stop him from hurting himself. "Whatever it is, you deserve it." He picked his head up and smiled. I ran my fingers under his eyes and wiped the tears off smiling back at him.

"Honey, would you bring out the cake for these two?!" I sat with Anthony and Kaylee in our backyard at the small table we made for them. They jumped with excitement in their little chairs and hardly noticed me taking pictures every second. Will opened the screen door we had to protect our maple wood finished back door with his foot and turned around, showing to us the magnificent cake he made. "Daddy made this all by himself, isn't that cool?"

Anthony nodded his head vigorously and Kaylee agreed with me loudly. Victoria bounced her little boy Robert on her knee and Evan, her husband, made his son pay attention to the scene unfolding in front of his eyes. It was a perfect scene, one I had dreamed of many times and I smiled to myself as we started singing Happy Birthday.

The cutest thing was watching Kaylee and Anthony scampering around the familiar backyard looking for presents. Some were obvious, some weren't. We told them earlier Kaylee's were pink and Anthony's were blue. They each had 10. A lot of them were kinda lame, like racecar models or coloring books. It didn't matter to them, they still loved it. Afterward, we took them to a store downtown to pick out bikes. The look on their face was priceless. Kaylee was asking for a bike in every other sentence. We took them to another store to get school clothes and supplies. We were lucky they made the deadline to attend school this year however barely it was.

Anthony and Will watched lots and lots of superhero things. Anthony, being like his father, fell in love with Superman. Kaylee like princesses; Cinderella in particular. That made me and Will laugh, remembering when he called me Cinderella. I wondered if we would ever tell them that.

Xxx

I slid the butter knife diagonally down Kaylee's PB&J. A handful of frosted animal crackers slid into a plastic bag, strawberries in another and a Capri Sun farthest to the left. The same routine followed for Anthony, but animal crackers were replaced with Cheese It's and strawberries with grapes. I left a little note and closed their lunch boxes, pushing them to the side. I made waffles for the kids and eggs and bacon for me and Will.

My eyes focused on Will's form as I turned around to hand him his daily coffee. He was smirking, for a reason only us two lovers knew.

He didn't take a sip from the ceramic cup and I peered at him over the steam of my tea. "Drink up honey. I know how cranky you get when you don't have your coffee." I brushed past him with a hand on his chest and whispered in his ear. "You'll need the energy." His smirk grew bigger, and he obeyed.

"Bye kids! Have a good day!" I told them before they got out, and Will hugged them tight. Kaylee took her brothers hand and dragged them toward the building. Will took a picture of this adorable moment before turning to me with tears in his eyes. He showed me the picture and while I was viewing it, I saw him wipe his tears from his eyes.

Xxx

Will hastily peeled my shirt off and unhooked my bra with his teeth. It was one of those that clasped in the front. He took my nipple into his mouth, making me arch my back and moan quite loudly. I gripped his curls and pushed him further, jerking my hips into his erection. Sadly, he left my breast and trailed kisses down my stomach until reaching the waistband of my shorts. In one pull he removed me of my panties and shorts, at least enough so he could adore me with his mouth. I gripped his curls again, roughly, and tried not to buck my hips into his mouth. I wished he would rid me completely of the bottom half of my clothing so I could wrap my legs around his head and keep him there forever. I'm sure he wouldn't mind.

He sat up on his knees tore off my shorts and panties before doing the same to his own. Recently, I was experiencing debilitating pain during my period so the doctor put me on birth control. Will was glad because he didn't like condoms and we still wanted to have kids sometime so any permanent solutions would not be the right avenue for us. I pulled of the goddamn shirt he wore and smirked a bit.

He wasted no time joining me in writhing against the sheets, breathing heavily into my neck and adoring my breasts with kisses. I whispered things in his ear. How happy I was that he was mine, how we were going to do this all day, and how I loved him. I always loved how he seemed so focused on me. I tilted his head toward me to gaze in his eyes and kiss him deeply.

I could never get enough of his tongue against mine, and twisted ours together. My nails scratched his back, and I hoped they would leave marks. I whispered this to him and he thrust deeper, moaning as well. His hands wrapped around my back and pulled me as close to him as humanly possible, pushing in even deeper. He breathed in the scent of my hair from the nape of my neck and kissed around to my chest. His finger slid between us, so he could hear me moan and climax just for him. He should know it would always be just for him.


	17. Wondering

**A/N: I totally had to start to move this weekend and had to scavenge to finish this chapter. I hope to be more productive with updates with the coming weeks. **

"Hi Anthony!" Kaylee was invited to a friends house directly after school therefore only Anthony walked through the door today. I was glad he seemed okay without his sister. I pulled some of Will's cookies from the package and set them on a napkin. He pulled himself up on the chair, climbing it like a tree and sitting with his legs crossed over each other. "How was your first week of school?"

"It was okay. I was confused." He chewed on a cookie, not affected by whatever had him confused.

"Why were you confused?" I sat down across from him with two cups of tea. He pulled his sippy cup closer to him and wrapped both hands around it. His torso tilted backward as he took a long sip.

"I got called 'the atwistic kid' a lot. I don't know what that means. Is it bad?" I knew he wanted to scamper off to the living room to watch his shows. He liked routines and I couldn't blame him; I did too.

"No, sweetie." My heart softened. "It's not bad at all..." I bit my lip as I pondered if I should tell him now. It didn't seem right without his father here as well. "I'll explain later, okay honey?" I walked around to him and kissed the top of his head, ruffling his hair in the process. "Go watch tv." I slapped his little butt as he scampered away.

"Will," I told him as he undressed. "Anthony got called 'the autistic kid' at school." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair and turned around. His face fell and another long sigh escaped him as he slid down the closet door dressed just in his boxers. "I told him I would explain later. I wanted to wait for you." I sat on the bed with my legs crossed, waiting for his reaction.

"I-I don't know why but...that just hit me." He pulled his knees to his chest and sat his elbows on them. "Our son has autism." He said for himself and started crying. Sobbing actually. I sat down next to his shaking form and bought him to my chest. My hand ran up his head and down his back as I held him to me with the other hand.

I stayed quiet while he whimpered and cried, not exactly knowing why the full magnitude just hit him. It felt werid being the one to comfort him when he was always the one comforting me. I knew this would happen eventually -me comforting him- but I couldn't guess when. I was just glad he was crying in front of me. Not glad in the happy way of course, but glad that he was progressing. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if he went through depression or something along those lines and I didn't know.

I don't know how long we stayed there. At one point we slipped further down where he was against my shoulder as we laid on the floor. I played with his curls because I knew that relaxed him. I ran my hand across his arms that wrapped around me, almost suffocating; he was holding me so tight to himself.

Kaylee came in to ask what we're having for dinner when she found Will asleep and slightly on top of me. "Are we squishing?!" She asked in her cute five year old voice. 'Squishing' was something that we did and is quite self explanatory. She charged toward us though I tried to stop her from waking her father.

"No Kaylee, we're not squishing." It was too late, she already jumped between us. Will's upper torso shot up and he groaned. Kaylee was oblivious to such (or thought he was doing it for sound effects) as children are.

"Can we have pancakes for dinner?!" I laughed and nodded my head.

X

Will sat Anthony down in between us and extended his arm over our shoulders. "So, I heard you got called something at school."

Anthony looked at his father. "Mommy said you would tell me what it means."

"Well...Everyone's different, okay Anthony?" He nodded. "And you just have a little difficulty expressing things to people." He was still attentive.

"Are people going to make fun of me?"

Will looked at me and took a deep breath. "Kids make fun of kids for everything. I got teased for my curls. But, you have to take it lightly. They're just trying to make themselves feel better."

"That's dumb." I agreed with him and asked him if he was okay. He said yes, and I pulled him into my arms.

"We love you Anthony. Everything about you." I kissed his face and sent him to bed. I sighed when he got out of sight. "That was easy."

"He's very smart." I nodded as I stared at the spot he ran off from.

I looked at my fingers in my lap and sighed. "Well, at least we got that working for us." I said in the tone of a character from a movie and smiled as Will laughed. I didn't know why I'd been making so many movie references lately, but no one seemed to mind.

X

"Anthony? Come on, it's time for school!" I walked around the house as I tried to locate him. Kaylee was bouncing along to songs in the car and would only be entertained for so long.

I found him in the living room, sitting on the couch. His hands became redder as they continued to furiously rub his face to no avail. His nails gripped his legs forcefully, pulling the skin with him before stopping when the pain was too much. He dropped his hands and started to breathe deeply before his head thrashed around again and one could hear him lowly say to himself over and over; "Stop. Stop, I know. Stop." He almost yelped near the end everytime he chanted. He hung his head near his knees and his hands began to again try and wash the attack from his mind.

He knew it was all in his mind, no matter how much his fears were rationalized by its overactivity. He knew he could control it, but he was too young to know how. I knelt in front of him and pulled his hands away from his face and held them in the warmth of my own, I hoped that I would be able to help him cope. He began sobbing and his wrists flaied around, desperatly trying to retain dignity. I pulled him into my lap and he sobbed into my shirt. When I told Will about this, I would suggest home school, then go back on my suggest. I knew that the only thing worse than watching my baby suffer like this, was not exposing him to cures and coping skills.

He pushed me away roughly and scooted away, turning his back to me and returning his hands to his face. I put my hand on his shoulder, hoping he would let me help him. I felt sick to my stomach. I felt as if I would throw up the _Lucky Charms _I had for breakfast with Kaylee. I had to hold back the feeling of puking, but I was fairly unsucessful. I ran to the upstairs bathroom and leaned over the toilet, hoping dry heaving would hurry up the process and take this terrible feeling from my stomach. I remembered this from the days when my OCD was really bad, and I hated it so much. I hated seeing my son so torn up, I hated not being there for him, and I hated sitting on the title floor in my perviously perfectly creased skirt crying into my hands with my knees to my chest.


End file.
